I suppose I am feeling optimistic and positive today, but I do believe that adversity does make you stronger, or at least shows you just how strong you really are once you are past it. I tend to wallow in "whoa is me" too often, I am sure. How many of those times I should have been able to control it, I have no idea. I know I do not *like* feeling that way, but has it become a habit? Is it a way or an excuse to get out of doing things I do not want to do or have the energy to do? If so, why do I not just do them - get them out of the way? The more I do not do the things I should and need to do, the more they pile up. THEN it is all overwhelming and I simply will not do whatever it is I should do.
Maybe that is being too hard on myself, or perhaps I should be MORE hard on myself. Actually, I confuse the hell out of myself.
In my last post, I ranted about our marriage counselor spending most of our sessions talking about her personal life - even interrupting me when I tried to talk about our relationship. Imagine my surprise when, for the first time that I can remember, she arrived and actually was beginning our session - talking about the relationship, before she even shut the door. I can not recall a single time she talked about her personal life and what was going on at all. Things like that make me so suspicious. It was definitely a coincidence, right? Coincidences happen ALL OF THE TIME! To think there is any possible way she read my blog, and even if she did, to know it was me and that it was her is mind blowing.
We shall see next week.
Mark's 'rents will be here in a few hours. UGH. I have managed to do the absolute impossible - with help - paid help, of course, but I worked a lot too. Make almost the entire house (4,000 sq ft), minus one spare bedroom and the laundry room clutter free and spotless. It feels really good! The girl I hired for a few hours to help with my wreath business came over two Saturdays for several hours each day and we cleaned together on clutter and got SO MUCH DONE! She is incredibly efficient, has a ton of energy and I told her she was the supervisor each day! The maids did their regular cleaning on Friday but I had them do some extra things and had told them and their boss it had to be spotless for my Mother-In-Law. They absolutely understood what I meant, ha! That reminds me, I should write their boss an email letting him know how much I appreciate their hard work.
I have the MOST awesome psychiatrist/therapist now. She just sent a text encouraging me to make two wreaths today - that she knew I could do it. She knows I get so overwhelmed and then I feel like such a failure. I so adore her.
I need to write a post on my experience with my last psychiatrist and why I now have a new one. My last psychiatrist is one of the best in Illinois and I felt so incredibly lucky to be able to get in to her and that she took me as a patient. And YES, she is an AWESOME doctor. Sometimes though, there are really, really weird things going on in offices that there is no way you could have ever imagined even happening in a professional office between medical (and married) psychiatrists. What a nightmare. It probably requires an entire entry. The thing about it? I now know that basically the entire mental health community knows about it!! It is no surprise!!