Small Changes
Thursday, May 22, 2008I don't feel like there's anything much left to do with my character in the game, either. At least, nothing fun. I could create a new one, but that's a lot of work. Most people create an "alt", but that's never appealed to me. To be honest, my "role" that I play in "dungeons", I don't even like. It's too stressful, and I don't have any fun. What I do is a necessity in every group so I get asked constantly to do it, but I hate it. Why keep doing something that is so stressful and that I hate? And keep working on a character whose role is to do that?
I told Mark on the phone that I wanted to go out more, like tomorrow night, Friday night, our normal night when go out that I've been missing for the last few months. I don't think he believes me just yet. I also told him I wanted to go to the movies, and maybe to the mall. I have about $3000 in my 'spending account" now, so I can go wild with clothes and hair if I want, and trust me, I NEED to do it.
I'm starting to work harder at work - keeping a balance between game and work is still difficult, maybe because I HATE my job so much, but I'm working on it. I was just now sending out an email, and it's 6:00p. I know that HE is online right now, planning on going to bed early, yet I logged off knowing this. HE even said that I needed to start getting out, probably because I told him that my friends had been complaining. What does he know, though? It actually pissed me off that he would get into my personal life like that and give me advice. HE should get a girlfriend. Maybe he has one, who knows? I guess he could even be married?
I dunno, right this VERY SECOND I feel like making a change. That doesn't mean in an hour I won't be anxious again or whatever.
Maybe small changes build up into one big change for good?