Too Much Seroquel
Thursday, March 22, 2007
I'm at home from work today - I took an extra Seroquel last night because I wasn't sleepy, and woke up around 7:30a. I have to be at work by 8:00a and we have a meeting at 8:00a on the dot, too. Besides, I was STILL knocked out by the Seroquel, so I called in, with my voice out of it. Hopefully I sounded really sick. I used my faux illness of "migraine headaches" that takes the place of being "bipolar".
I'll NEVER tell my boss or anyone at work that I'm bipolar unless there's a need to do so. I read in a bipolar book that it's not necessary unless there's a benefit from it. However - so many people feel the need to "come out" about it. What's the purpose of that when there's no reason? I notice even "Bipolar Girl" doesn't even tell other people - she's only told me, for whatever reason. I've told her I go to a psychiatrist, but that's all she knows. So many people go to a psychiatrist that I don't think there is any harm in that, and it doesn't seem like she's told anyone. That doesn't mean I'll share with her that I'm bipolar as well. No siree!
Being home from work this morning is actually a benefit for me today. I am almost out of Adderall and needed to go to my psychiatrist to have a prescription written anyway, so I'll just go and then show up at work this afternoon. I think my boss will appreciate that I'll make the effort to come in at all. So what am I doing? Sitting here listening to my recorded John Mayer concert from DirectTV, of course! :-) I just found out he'll be in my town in June! Don't you know I'm going to pay whatever it takes to be in the first few rows? Ok, ok....I'm sure everyone is sick of "John Mayer" on my blog by now.
Right this very second, I don't have that "broken heart" feeling I wrote about last night. It comes and goes. It's so bizarre. I feel happy and positive about my future. Perhaps I'm slightly rapid cycling, or do "normal" people do this, too? I think if I "tried", I would feel depressed, though. It wouldn't take much. I wonder if the Adderall and the coffee (and Phetermine) hides it until evening, and then I break down. Perhaps I'm just anxious about being gone from work.
Or maybe...I'm hopeful about the future because ANOTHER company contacted me about a position with a consulting firm as a Recruiter. I'm no longer actively searching - they are coming to ME. It's got to be LinkedIn - I can't think of anything else it could possibly be. It's an executive search firm, not an IT firm that sent me emails (to my work email address too, which makes me a little nervous that it's my boss; however, the email address is a legitimate business), but I sent them my resume anyway. Working at a Consulting Firm as a Recruiter as opposed to a Corporate Recruiter in an Industry makes more sense for me since I've already worked at a Big-5 (Big-4? People call it both.) I do have "lies" on my resume, though. It looks like I've recruited YEARS longer than I actually have. It makes me nervous when people are asking me questions and asking me pointed questions and I'm making up answers, and I have no idea if I'm answering the questions right or wrong.
Guess I'd better start getting ready to go to the psychiatrist and then to work. Mark will be home tonight around midnight. Maybe I'll actually be able to fall asleep unlike that past few evenings.
I'll NEVER tell my boss or anyone at work that I'm bipolar unless there's a need to do so. I read in a bipolar book that it's not necessary unless there's a benefit from it. However - so many people feel the need to "come out" about it. What's the purpose of that when there's no reason? I notice even "Bipolar Girl" doesn't even tell other people - she's only told me, for whatever reason. I've told her I go to a psychiatrist, but that's all she knows. So many people go to a psychiatrist that I don't think there is any harm in that, and it doesn't seem like she's told anyone. That doesn't mean I'll share with her that I'm bipolar as well. No siree!
Being home from work this morning is actually a benefit for me today. I am almost out of Adderall and needed to go to my psychiatrist to have a prescription written anyway, so I'll just go and then show up at work this afternoon. I think my boss will appreciate that I'll make the effort to come in at all. So what am I doing? Sitting here listening to my recorded John Mayer concert from DirectTV, of course! :-) I just found out he'll be in my town in June! Don't you know I'm going to pay whatever it takes to be in the first few rows? Ok, ok....I'm sure everyone is sick of "John Mayer" on my blog by now.
Right this very second, I don't have that "broken heart" feeling I wrote about last night. It comes and goes. It's so bizarre. I feel happy and positive about my future. Perhaps I'm slightly rapid cycling, or do "normal" people do this, too? I think if I "tried", I would feel depressed, though. It wouldn't take much. I wonder if the Adderall and the coffee (and Phetermine) hides it until evening, and then I break down. Perhaps I'm just anxious about being gone from work.
Or maybe...I'm hopeful about the future because ANOTHER company contacted me about a position with a consulting firm as a Recruiter. I'm no longer actively searching - they are coming to ME. It's got to be LinkedIn - I can't think of anything else it could possibly be. It's an executive search firm, not an IT firm that sent me emails (to my work email address too, which makes me a little nervous that it's my boss; however, the email address is a legitimate business), but I sent them my resume anyway. Working at a Consulting Firm as a Recruiter as opposed to a Corporate Recruiter in an Industry makes more sense for me since I've already worked at a Big-5 (Big-4? People call it both.) I do have "lies" on my resume, though. It looks like I've recruited YEARS longer than I actually have. It makes me nervous when people are asking me questions and asking me pointed questions and I'm making up answers, and I have no idea if I'm answering the questions right or wrong.
Guess I'd better start getting ready to go to the psychiatrist and then to work. Mark will be home tonight around midnight. Maybe I'll actually be able to fall asleep unlike that past few evenings.
KansasSunflower @ 11:00 AM
4 People Cared Enough to Say the Very Best:
hmmm...seroquel and adderall. sounds like you need to get off the meds and work thru it. sleep, exercise and eating right...always works. good luck. not judging - just trying to help.
sweet sweet seroquel. so good and so bad.
john mayer isn't stalking me right now so i guess that's why he's bugging you.
however, fiona apple is haunting me with "criminal" every freaking day. not cool. why must musicians haunt me?? ; )
I know what you mean about confessing. I don't want to but part of me thinks it makes sense. I am a cop out. I will tell people I see a p-doc and a t-doc, that i have adhd and depression/mood disorder. fuck, that's a close combo to bipolar anyway, at least for the layman.
and i leave it at that...
True Maggs, true. You're not a cop-out. You just don't want to be discriminated against. Nothing wrong with that. In my opinion, it's the right thing to do.
Criminal by Fiona Apple? :-) Oh no!!! :-)
hey i am BPD and i take seroquel, why do you take aderol? doesnt it give you anxiety? downers and uppers isnt that a "no no"... just curious cuz seruquel makes me super sleepy sometimes during the day and sometimes not, i also get anxiety attacks here and there especially if i forgtet to take my pill.. but for some reason today i was in a numb state of mind and was falling asleep without seroquel then i got up and took it and now i can NOT SLEEP. which sucks cuz now it is five thirty am... damn. ok now i am going to try to read my book if i can find it in my messy room.
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