Just An Update

I went to the psychiatrist on Wednesday, and the first thing out of his mouth was "so, we were going to try Latuda, how did it go?".  I still think I am one of his first, if not his very first, patients to try Latuda, but who knows.  I told him it went very well and I liked it.  He asked if I was less hungry which was one of the reasons we switched from Geoden to Latuda, and I told him I had lost 15 pounds since I last saw him, in July.  Don't think it just melted off, though.  Those 15 pounds were pure blood, sweat and tears!  I worked hard for every single ounce of those 15 pounds!  But had I stayed on Geodon, could I had done it?  No, I don't think so. 

So all was well on the medication front, except I told him about this weird side effect Latuda had on me.  I was preoccupied with my tongue and swishing it around in my mouth.  I did it all the time without realizing it, and suddenly I would become aware of it.  I had asked Mark if he could see me doing it, but he said he couldn't tell.  I didn't want to stop taking Latuda because of it, so my doctor gave me a medication for it - Amantadine.  When I went to pick up the prescription, the pharmacist was very puzzled why I needed it.   I did some research on it when I got home, it looks like it was once used to treat the flu, but was discontinued, once used for Parkinson's, but not a great medication for that now either.  Doesn't matter, my tongue is moving less now.  Not completely gone, but less, which I'm grateful.

After being so anxious about school and all their negativity by trying to scare you that they're going to kick you out of school at any time if you don't pass a speed, I transferred schools.  I start at a new school on Monday.  It's not that I don't like goals, but they couldn't even give me a date when I needed to pass the current speed I'm in.  On the first day of the quarter (on Monday), the teacher said "take a look around and you'll see some people missing.  Some are gone not because they don't want to be here, but because they weren't allowed to come."  Really, that's motivation??  I realize she was telling us to practice more at home, but I can't deal with the pressure I put on myself to begin with, and the pressure always hanging over my head that they are going to kick me out soon.  The school I will be going to doesn't have a timeframe when you have to pass tests, but of course, eventually your financial aid will run out.  I'm better off at the new school in that regard, but because of that, it didn't completely take away the anxiety. 

Mark and I seem to be getting along okay most of the time.  We have our moments, but for the most part, I think we each feel the other is showing they love each of us in the way we can recognize as love, if that makes sense.  We have our moments where we argue, where one of us will get frustrated and it seems like it's not working, and then eventually it will even out.  I just have to take a deep breath when that happens, it always seems so hard during those times.  But eventually it passes, eventually.

I'm still training for a 10k, but truthfully, at the end of the program, I'll just be able to run for 60 minutes straight, and that won't be 10k.  I'll be lucky if it's 5 miles, not 6.2.  But the reason I started running in the first place was to burn calories, and I'm achieving that.  When I started running, I would burn 180 calories per workout, and it was a real workout!  Now I burn almost 550 per workout, so I've come a long way.  My goal is to burn around 700 calories per workout.  I don't know if I'll achieve that without some speed building, but we'll see.  Once I finish this program, I don't think I'll train for distance next.  I think I'll just continue to run for 60 minutes at a time for awhile and increase my speed little by little.  But FIRST - got to reach that 60 minutes!

Which reminds me, today is a run AND a weigh day.  So a bad and a good day.  I actually don't like to run.  I don't know if that's because my runs are so challenging and I've never given myself a break since I started running in July, or I just don't like it.  But I think few people actually LOVE to exercise, maybe eventually I'll learn to love it.  I know I love the feeling at the end of my run! 

I think I started my "monthly visitor" this morning, so my weigh in may not be so great this morning.  I'm not weighing myself until around 7:00am, the same time I weight myself every Friday.  Believe it or not, it makes a difference. 

1 comment:

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