Running!

I finished the Couch to 5K program last Tuesday, and already signed up for a 5k race.  It's today!  I've been awake since 2:30a, so if getting a good night's sleep the night before is a requirement, I'm in trouble.

I've never actually ran a whole 5k - the program ensures you run for a full 30 minutes, but doesn't tell you how FAST to run.  When I'm finished running, I've run 2.75 miles, and a 5k is 3.1 miles, so I'm a bit nervous about that last stretch.  I plan to drink a 5 hour energy drink and go to IHOP and drink lots of coffee for energy.  I hope I don't overdo it and make myself sick! 

Mark has been running for about 5 years and has never entered a race, but I convinced him to enter this one with me, so it will be both of our first races.  He entered the 10k, so we won't actually be running together which is fine, we don't run at the same pace, but it's fun that we'll be running our first race at the same time and we can go together, etc.

I've lost a couple more pounds, exercise and diet, but I went for 2 weeks without losing weight.  It freaked me out a little, I didn't think I was doing anything differently than when I was losing weight, but I kept plugging along and finally yesterday I weighed and lost 2 pounds.  (I weigh myself weekly).  So it's about 13.2 pounds I've lost since the beginning of July.  That's actually pretty good for me, maybe not so good for others, but pretty good for me.  Running must increase my metabolism or something.

I start a new program on Monday - it's Bridge to 10k - for graduates of Couch to 5k, to train for a 10k.  It takes 6 weeks!  I don't know how you can train for 9 weeks for a 5k, and expect to only train for 6 weeks for 10k, but we'll see how it goes.  I fully don't expect to be able to actually run a 10k at the end of the program, but I do expect to run for 60 minutes.  Wow, 60 minutes!  But I never thought I'd be able to run for 30 minutes, either.  I never thought I could be a runner, now I am.  It just goes to prove that you can do anything you set you your mind to do!

Today, my goal is just to be able to actually RUN the whole 5k since I've never run outside before with hills and everything, just on a treadmill.  I don't want to have to stop and walk at all.  I don't care how slow I have to go, I just want to run the whole way.  Time is not important.  I want it to be as pleasurable of an experience as possible so I won't quit and give up on races.  I have all the time in the world to work on my time. 

Other than that, marriage counseling is going okay, we go about every 3 weeks.  We didn't have much to talk about last time we went.  Our relationship has improved dramatically.  I feel so much more loved, I hope he does, too.  I'm trying to do what he said on the survey is important to him, and he is definitely trying to meet my needs, that's for sure.  Maybe that's all that was missing, just someone to show us what the other one needed.

I get freaked out about school, that I'm not progressing fast enough.  I wonder all the time if I should transfer schools.  There's another one that's a longer distance than where I live, but maybe they wouldn't have such tight time constraints on when I have to finish speeds or lose my financial aid.  It's not like I'm about to lose it, but it's always looming in the future.  I've tried to ask specifically WHEN that will be, but the policy has changed, and it doesn't seem like they can give me a definite answer, they just give me formulas, instead of "you have until x-quarter".  That's all I'm asking for, is a date.  All I'm left with is an unknown, as if they know I will transfer if I actually know, because I really might, and they do have a problem with people transferring to the other school.  There was recently a mass exodus to the other school, and I'm not sure why.  But I don't want to run out of financial aid at this school, just to be told at the other school that because that happened, I won't have financial aid there either and had I come there sooner, that wouldn't have happened.  I really don't know how these things work.  So I'm constantly worried about this.  I suppose I should call the other school, but won't they then tell me all the reasons why I should come to THEIR school and try to recruit me?

I go to my psychiatrist in about a month for a refill of Latuda, and I think it's worked rather well.  I've weathered quite a few storms while I've been taking it, and managed to keep myself together *I think*.  Exercised, dieted, went to marriage counseling, lost my dad, mainly kept a positive attitude, but had a lot of anxiety, I mean a LOT, in the beginning.  But the anxiety has subsided and I've gone down on my klonipin at night, it just seems like things are better.  Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so.

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