Possible Cure for Agitation

I've thought of a possible solution to my probable current hypomanic situation without going to my psychiatrist who will change my medication.  I doubled my Lamictal today.  My psychiastrist has always wanted me to take one in the morning and one at night, but I never have.  I can never remember to take medication in the morning, so I stopped taking that part of the dosage of it, it and told him.  I was okay without it, so he didn't scold me, but he wouldn't change the dosage and kept writing prescriptions for two a day.  Every time I refill my prescriptions I always go ahead and refill Lamictal too, even though I don't need it and have a drawer full of it.  I guess I'm a prescription hoarder.

I also have a ton of Klonipin.  My psychiatrist prescribes two of them per day, and I only take one.  For that one, I do NOT tell him I only take one because I DO want to hoard them.  I haven't even finished my Klonipin prescription from last year, but have been getting refills that would have lasted until June if I had taken them as prescribed.  But I don't know when I might need extra, for instance today.

I was so agitated and so afraid of what I might do or say in my state of mind that I took two Klonipin, and it helped immensely.  But of course, that's just treating the symptoms, not the cause. 

I know I said I was going to stay away from social media, and I haven't been on Facebook in about a month, but even keeping that at bay didn't stop me from attempting to unleash my wrath.  I found myself starting to comment on news stories, angry comments, but luckily before I posted them, I remembered my frame of mind, and stopped myself.

I don't think I snapped at my husband, but I did share with him how I was feeling so he would understand if I was impatient or got upset with him.  It's so unfair to spouses who live with someone who is bipolar.  I just can't imagine what it must be like.  Maybe they're attacted to the rollercoaster ride, I have no idea.  I know I wouldn't be.  I do my best, I really do. 

I'm hoping I'll be okay by the time we go on vacation mid-May.  It's nothing out of control, I could have a good time the way I am right now.  It's just the poor judgement that worries me. 

5 comments:

Jill said...

Hi! I have found that - for me - an additional Lamictal will squelch that agitation/irritability. (Klonopin certainly doesn't hurt! :) Hope it works for you! Glad you noticed the agitation pretty early on and have something in place you can do - without having to talk to doc first. I hope it works for you!

KansasSunflower said...

Thanks, Jill! That's good to know it might actually work! : )

KansasSunflower said...

Thanks, Jill! That's good to know it might actually work! : )

Bipolar Alcoholic :-))-: said...

What I've learned is we know ourselves better than our psychiatrists and when we feel a need for a medication change it is most likely best. I recently had to alter my antidepressant because I've been feeling more manic lately. My best to you and hope all is well.

KansasSunflower said...

Thanks BA! I agree, we know ourselves best. I think it's working! : )

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