I was doing my best to be a good sport, but then we went on a dinner cruise that night and that's when the alcohol got involved. I drink a few glasses of wine about once a week with dinner when we go out, but this time I had champagne, I tried a martini for the first time, and I'm not sure what else. All of a sudden, I got upset that they weren't "telling" us the sights as we were going by, which I thought they were going to do. Mark was trying to be positive, I guess, and told me he could tell me what they were. That made me SO ANGRY, I have no idea why. I remember thinking who did he think he was, he didn't know, all he knew was from the internet, and I no longer wanted to be on that cruise with him. I remember it was dark and the lights were twinkling from the city, and I could see cars going over bridges, and I was thinking, "I wish I was alone in one of those cars going to my own place where I lived by myself". It was CRAZY! I looked at my watch and announced to Mark "Well, I guess we have 40 minutes of THIS!", because, of course, we were trapped on the boat. He isn't a dancer, so of course he never wanted to get up and dance. I know, by the way I'm making it sound, it probably doesn't seem like I wanted to dance, but I did.
Finally it was over, and we went to get a taxi to go back to our hotel at around midnight, but of course, no taxis, just as I had told him there wouldn't be. So there were all of these people just standing around. I have been there before and had problems getting taxis in the city, he told me he read they would be everywhere, so I was once again got angry, even though he had asked the taxi driver on the way over if there would be taxis after the cruise and he told him yes. So we walked for BLOCKS and BLOCKS in my six inch heels and finally found a cab. It's probably not a bad thing. Physical exercise has a way of cooling down a temper.
But other than that, the trip was great. We saw all the sights, walked so much that my feet were painfully, incredibily sore, and I don't understand that. Mark had gotten up that morning and ran 10 miles, and walked the same distance I did, yet his feet didn't hurt. I went and got a massage at the hotel for my legs and feet afterward, and the masseur said it was probably my shoes since I'm a runner. So I've ordered new shoes. I don't know if that's it.
On our first day, I went to a psychic because I've never been to one. She told me things with tarot cards she couldn't have possibly known, but she also said a few things that I don't see how they could come true. I guess the things in the past and present were basically true, so anything she told me about the future that I didn't like troubled me, and it kind of hung over me like a cloud for the rest of the day. I know I shouldn't believe in that stuff, and I really don't, yet she said so much that was true, but at the same time, maybe what she said was true is true for most people, so she says it to everyone.
Mark was a trooper and went to a music festival with me today, which he has always hated. He acted like he had a good time, at least he was a good sport about it.
I missed FOUR days of school, when I only intended to miss two. I missed an extra one at the beginning but I just ran out of time getting everything ready, and then I stayed home an extra day because I was so freaking tired and I wanted to spend time with my dog because I missed him terribly.
But then, after being gone so long and out of practice, I passed a Jury Charge test, with only 15 errors! Wow, I was shocked, and so happy! It has definitely motivated me more.
On my trip, I gained about 3 or 4 pounds, and I can totally see it in the mirror. Also, in the pictures Mark took, I see how fat I still am, and can TOTALLY not believe it. But...it is inspiration to finish my weight loss and pick my running back up to where it once was. I had slacked off running as many times a week as I was, so now it's time to get back to my regular schedule, and perhaps measuring everything I eat again. Maybe even tracking it, too. Ugh. But, it works.
My hearing is out of control bad. I tried to make an appointment to get my hearing re-checked to see if it had gotten worse on Friday, but the office had already closed. I guess I'll go ahead and get hearing aids, it's ridiculous. I'm tired of asking people to repeat what they said over and over, not hearing Mark or misunderstanding him, like, every sentence that he says. Never hearing what our waiter is saying. Not hearing the music in the car at all and Mark is actually singing the words to what he can hear. The tours we took on vacation was the big eye-opener. I just couldn't hear the tour guides. I had to fight to make sure I was dead center whenever they moved. If I was in the middle or the back of the group, I couldn't hear what they were saying. I'm tired of living this way.
I don't know if my dysphoria is gone. I guess it is. How do you know for sure? Nothing has made me insanely upset, but does that mean there hasn't been a trigger? I hate analyzing moods, and right now, I just don't have the energy.