Content

I hadn't run for a few months because I had gotten heat exhaustion from running in the late morning earlier in the summer.  Yesterday I got up very early and ran a 5k - I was so surprised that I hadn't lost my endurance!  I did, however, lose quite a bit of speed, but part of that may have been because I was taking it extremely careful as I didn't even know if I could make it down the block without stopping to walk at first!  I didn't even know if I would have to start all over with my Couch to 5k app again - starting with running for 30 seconds then walking for 2 minutes.  UGH!  But all was not lost.  I could have run much further, but when I run tomorrow morning, I think I'll run the same distance, just pick up the speed a bit.

Even though I had an awesome birthday - it was actually perfect, best birthday I've had since I can remember, it was also the first birthday I've had since my dad passed away.  There would be moments where the thought would creep in that I wasn't going to hear from him that day because I always had that expectation all my life as my parents have been divorced since I was probably two.  He always called me and sent me a gift for my birthday.  Not this year, and I didn't want to ruin my perfect day by getting sad about my dad no longer being here.  I'm still sad about it, but I think it's a normal sadness, it comes and goes.  But I'm generally a very happy person these days.  Mark was copying what I do when I hear a song on the radio that I really like, and I thought wow, do I go to that extreme when I like something, because that looks really happy, and I would love to live with myself!  HA!

I missed quite a few days of school.  Mark took the week off for my birthday, and it was so hard to go in when he was at home, so I missed three days that week.  Then I had bad cramps and I missed a few days.  My OB/GYN had prescribed some menstrual cramp medication last time I went in but said she didn't think it would work very well, and she was right.  But I have to try it for two complete cycles and then go back, and she'll put me on a low estrogen birth control bill (estrogen makes me physically ill, but a low dose is okay), and I'll just skip the sugar pills and my period altogether.  The only other alternative is surgery, and I don't want that...again.  Two surgeries for fibroids and endometriosis in a lifetime is enough, don't want to go for three, and that's where I'm at. 

My mood has been very good lately!  It's so nice just to be content.  I don't really have any worries, any concerns, and it feels AWESOME!  That happens so few and far between in life, when NOTHING is wrong, you know?  It seems like there is always something, no matter how tiny, that is bugging me at every corner, but not right now.  Being content with everything is the best feeling ever!  Sure, I have goals, things I'd like to change, etc., but right now, I'm pretty okay with everything. : )

This is how things usually are before the world crashes in all around you.  I don't know why it works that way, or maybe I'm just trying not to take it for granted. 




2 comments:

Flabbergasted Mom said...

Happy belated birthday and sorry about the passing of your father.

KansasSunflower said...

Thank you, FM! : )

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