I had a friend at school that dropped out last quarter and I had sent her a text about a month ago, she sent one back, and I never responded until this morning. Why I hadn't responded sooner, I don't know. What made me text her today, I don't know know that either.
So we went to this upscale store today and walked by some offices, and someone comes rushing out saying my name and hugging me, and there she was - my friend from school! I knew she got a full time job but didn't know what she was doing or where she was working. It was so great to see her! So bizarre - there are an infinite number of businesses in our city and the chance that we would be in the same one and that we would even see each other there is incredible to me.
So we made plans to go to dinner next week. When Mark and I got in the car, I showed him my text log and said how I was so glad I had replied to her text before we went to the store today. He couldn't believe I had waited so long to reply, especially when I complain that I don't have any friends. He said he sees that people are so attracted to me and ask me to do things with them, I just won't. Is that true? That's his perception. I did think when my friend and I were making tentative plans that maybe there wasn't any point, we were moving anyway. I do always have an excuse for not going somewhere with someone when they ask - I'm too fat, it's too far, Mark is home and I want to spend time with him, whatever. But it's a two way street. I know I shouldn't expect people, if I've turned them down over and over, to drop everything just because I've decided I finally want to do something with them, but it feels like rejection anyway.
I told my teacher that I was moving to Chicago next year because I was hoping the school could recommend another school for me in the Chicago area, but he got kind of upset that I was moving. He didn't take it well, I thought it would be no big deal. He wanted to know every detail, like, when were we putting our house up for sale and I told him January, but we would probably be here much longer than that because houses in our neighborhood weren't selling. And he said kind of panicky "but it could be January". I asked him a question when I was leaving, and he said something like, "I'm still stuck on you moving to Chicago!" Well, yes, but so what? So I go to school today, and he didn't seem like his normal self, kind of down in the dumps. Then I knew I was crazy, narcissistic even. Why would I think everything would be about me, like his mood? Why was I even analyzing his mood? Either I'm incredibly full of myself, or he's totally messed up. I'm going with the first option even though I don't think I'm full of myself, but that is truly "full of myself" thinking that can't, in no way, possibly be true.
So Mark bought a new office chair and gave me jewelry for our anniversary on Friday. We're staying overnight in a hotel in the town I lived in for ten years, in the hotel I used to walk by every day as a single, poor girl in my 20's and thought "Wow, wonder what it would be like to stay THERE", fully knowing I will be unhappy with the room with my current hotel standards. But that's not the point. The point is to do things I've always wanted to do here before we move. While we still have time, I'm going to try and do them! : )