How I Became "Undecided"

I'm so very sick of politics as I know everyone else is, but this election, I finally get it.  I understand why there are "undecided" people to the very end.  I used to think it was crazy - didn't they read up on the candidates to see what they believed?  What more could they possibly need to know?  But now I see that's just the problem, at least for me.  It was what I DO know that was the problem.

I voted early this year, and was so certain about my vote.  I had never voted for a Republican presidential candidate before, I'd always been the most bleeding heart liberal that most people in Texas had ever met.  But over the past four years, many things happened that I didn't agree with, and my mind slowly changed to where more and more I questioned my leaning.  What was I?  Clearly I wasn't a Democrat because I sure didn't agree with them, but could I be - horror of all horrors - a Republican?  People make it seem like if you're not one, then you must be the other.  But that's not true.   I've learned from this experience how I must have sounded as a liberal talking to those who didn't believe as I did.  Liberals come across as very nasty, smug, unforgiving and unrelentless!  I feel like I have the right to say this as I was one for at least a decade, probably more, and may end up one again, who knows?  But if I do, I will be enlightened. : ) 

Because of the economy and all of the things that were done economically the last four years, I started telling myself about social issues that had always been so important to me, that maybe they weren't as important as the economy and perhaps they could be other people's fight, not mine.  But not ALL of the social issues of Democrats, just certain ones that are very important to me.  But...the economy should be first is what I thought, and it sure wasn't getting much better the way we were going.  So...I went for the economy with my vote.

I had voted early because I told myself that, short of some criminal activity the Republican candidate would commit before the election, that would be my choice.  I could think of no other possible reason my mind would change.

The very next morning I got up and read the news, and BAM!  The biggest social issue to me was in the news, and it was not good.  It was something I was not aware of that the presidential candidate believed, and I panicked in a big way - I even started crying.  Well, I take that back.  I knew he believed it, but not to that extreme, that he would condone someone and endorse someone that believed something that is horrific to me.  He went so far as to choose a vice presidential candidate (who I loved until that morning) who had those beliefs that I didn't know either, which tells me that even though he said he didn't agree with the person he endorsed, he's obviously okay with it because his VP candidate has the same beliefs!  I kept saying to my husband "How could I have done that?  How could I have voted that way?" and he kept saying "You voted for someone for the next four years, the person to get the job done that could do the job you wanted.  He can't do anything about that (insert social issue that I don't want to offend anyone about) anyway. You wouldn't actually have voted for OBAMA, would you have?" Well, no, I just wouldn't have voted, which I now see that if people are still undecided, they just won't vote - my prediction.

So, undecided?  Yes.  Had I not voted early, right now I would be undecided.  Sell myself out for the economy or vote for social issues?  There's not a liberal Republican party, a liberal but fiscally conservative party.  Why does it have to be one or the other?

So...the day after the election there will be happy people and there will be very upset people.  Very, very upset people.  Me?  It will be bittersweet no matter who wins, I will not be totally happy either way.  If one person wins, I will be excited that the economy may be on a better track to getting better, but very worried about what the person believes on this issue as I believe he has promised to do something about it, although I don't think the Supreme Court would allow it.  If the other person wins, we're f*cked with the economy, as I believe he truly DOES care about the country and has tried his very best and it hasn't worked.  I think Obama is a genuinely nice guy who means well and only wants the best for us - and to make a positive impact in the way he sees a positive impact to be.  But it's troubling to me, it's just not enough to have good intentions.

But I'm absolutely sick of emails, calls, facebook posts, all of people's fired up passion and anger over the election.  Let's get this over with.  The thing is, after the election, I know it won't stop.  There will still be the SNL's, the John Stewart's, the Rush Limbaugh's.  You can run, but you can't hide.  Unfortunately.  And one group is going to be VERY VERY angry - but the question is - which one?

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