Relo Info Today.

The relocation package to Chicago was approved, and Mark finds out today what his company is offering him.  He is absolutely freaking out with worry.  Not that it won't pay enough for us to move, but where to buy a house in Chicago, how we'll come up with the downpayment, etc. etc.  He doesn't even KNOW anything yet, we haven't talked to a real estate agent, we don't know anything at all.  Not even what they are going to do for us at his company - buy our house?  Realtor fees and closing costs on a new house? Anything left over for a down payment on a new house?  I mean he just doesn't know anything.  And the location, he has changed that a million times to where I am so emotionally out of it from looking at houses on the internet and researching a town extensively for him to change his mind and say no, not that area, it's too (insert reason here), I think we should live in this general area because of (insert reason here).  Even the price of a house he can't decide on!  It's actually gone from one price, and then doubled, then not sure.  So how in the world am I supposed to prepare for this?  I don't know Chicago or where he works, he knows where he has to work which is two different locations.  I don't pay our bills or budget our money, he knows what we can or can't afford which includes a yearly bonus that I'm not even sure how to factor into the whole situation, or if we even should. 

I just want to get on with it, get it over with.  My life is on hold, I hate it.  Let's move on, this is a horible place to be right now, unsure of where you're going to be in a month, two months, whatever, and you can't plan anything.  Not even in your mind - what you're going to make for Thanksgiving, because you don't know where you'll be!  I don't know if I'll be finishing the quarter here, or if I'll be dropping.  Do I need to start looking for another school?  I have started a bit, but I don't want to get too involved because I don't know when I'll start. 

This could be good, or it could be a horrible, horrible thing.  I could end up in a house I hate, in a life I hate, and wishing I was back in Texas.  I keep thinking to myself it will all be so much better, but maybe it's like the song by Michael W. Smith - Lamu.  Lamu...far know it's there that you can run from the one inside of you.  But no, it's a fictitional place, you can never run from yourself.  There you'll always be.  I'll still be the girl with no friends and no job, going to school.  Nothing will change that.  Just a different address.   

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