His family also wanted us to come for Christmas Eve, but luckily Mark had told them LAST year we were starting our own traditions for Christmas Eve, so he had an excuse for that day. I hate Christmas with his family worse than Thanksgiving, so I'm coming out ahead in this case.
I don't dislike his family. His parents are nice enough. I really like and enjoy all of his siblings..except one. His sister. And she's enough to ruin everything for me and make me dread going over there. We don't fight, we simply ignore each other. But it's not just me. My husband and his sister ignore each other, too - for the most part. They may have one conversation in the many, many hours we are stuck there. Then again, I may have that one obligatory conversation with her too, feigning interest in her life, because she sure as hell wouldn't be asking about mine.
Hopefully this will be the last time I am tortured to spend a holiday with his family since we're moving to Chicago. I had thought that Mark would still want to fly here once a year during the holidays, but I couldn't have been more wrong. He sees it as the perfect excuse as to why we can't go.
I still haven't told many people I'm moving, and I don't know if I even have "real friends", but I don't think I'm going to until I'm actually in the process of moving. I feel like I did when we moved from one small Kansas town when I was in the 8th grade during the Christmas holidays to another small Kansas town. When the day was over, I walked out of the school to my mother's waiting car and realized...there was no one I wanted to say goodbye to, and no one that cared that I was moving. I left nothing behind. It still seems sad and such a lonely and empty feeling. There was another girl who was also leaving school that same day and people had brought a cake for her and made a big deal about how much she would be missed, but no one cared about me and I didn't care about them. I wasn't bullied or picked on, I wouldn't say I was a loner, I just didn't bond with anyone I guess at that time in my life. I did once I moved out of my mother's house, though. All I needed was a little confidence. Boyfriends, good friends, it all came so easily after that, yet that's all that had changed.
My stylist gave me these long side swept bangs today that is going to take a bit of getting used to if I want to style them as bangs. It seems like it would be easy enough to style and make it appear not to be bangs because they are so long, but I'm not sure if I made a mistake or not. Trivial, I know, but bangs are kind of a big deal. : )
Back to bed, hope I sleep through the rest of the night!