I Hate Everything About You!

We went to a big event that Mark's brother's wife has created and organizes for her city every year and had a good time.  While Mark was away racing and my sister-in-law was away being in charge, I talked to his brother for a bit.  I told him I didn't like going to his parents house because of his sister  She is ALWAYS there, always.  He said "Because of ?  She's a BITCH, isn't she?"  I was taken aback, no one has ever confirmed my belief quite the way her own brother (other than Mark) did.  Yes, Mark agrees with me, but I'm never sure if I have convinced him of it or if he would feel that way on his own.

So he continued!  He asked, not looking for an answer but extremely annoyed, "Why does she have to get upset when other people are doing better than she is?"  I was thinking OH MY GOSH, I'M NOT CRAZY! Well, yes I am, but not about this. 

But I obviously opened a can of worms with him by sharing my feelings that could have gone terribly wrong.  He said they didn't like to go over there either, and they could have gone for Thanksgiving, but didn't, but will be there for Christmas.  I told them we could we there for Christmas, but we won't be.  He then starts ranting about his mom, dad, and other brother.  Yes, everything he said was true.  And when Mark was done with the race and we met up with him, we were still talking and Mark agreed completely. 

So yeah, yeah, about the other brother that wasn't there and their parents.  But his FREAKING SISTER!  I can't even begin to talk about how much I DO NOT LIKE HER.  And you see, this is not good.  When I have decided I do not like someone to this point and believe in my heart that someone is this, well, I don't know what other word to use except...evil...that's it for me.  There's no going back, ever. 

So Thanksgiving - I already mentioned how she didn't look at me or say a single word to me the whole time I was there, but it wasn't one sided.  I didn't give her the time of day either.  But I didn't elaborate in the post where I talked about it.  There was one time when I got up from the table and she kind of looked me up and down, not my face, and I caught it out of the corner of my mouth, and she had a jealous and unpleasant look on her face.  She's lost a lot of weight but she's still not as thin as I am, not that I'm so thin, but height/weight proportionate wise, she's bigger and it seemed to piss her off royally. 

Their mother had asked what we wanted for Christmas and I have NO IDEA why Mark told his mother this, but he said I was "into collecting jewelry now", and I swear I heard her make a loud sigh in disdain when she heard that.  I would never ask for jewelry from their parents and don't want any jewelry they would ever give me, although they have given me jewelry, but he's right, I do ask for jewelry from HIM on every present-giving occasion.  But getting jewelry from your husband is different.  Still, what the heck does SHE care?

So I started thinking back.  When my sister-in-law got pregnant, we were kind of friends back then, and she told me she was jealous that she wasn't pregnant but her husband didn't want a baby, so she was going to "accidentally" get pregnant by stopping birth control.  And sure enough, she got pregnant right away.  There is no end to the length she will go to get what she wants, only...her lengths are limited and she knows that.

So why does all this bother me?  On one hand, maybe I should just take it that she's very jealous of me and be flattered.  But on the other, when I really think about it, she reminds me of my mother, and that is the worst comparison anyone could possibly be in my eyes.  My mother is greedy - she used my grandparents her whole life for money, was dependent on them until even after they had died. When my grandfather was dying in the hospital, she had an attorney come to his bedside with changes to the trust fund in her favor and he was so sick he couldn't even sign his name, so he marked it with an X.  Mark is convinced their parents help support them and that is why they constantly spend time with them.  I can totally see his sister pulling something like what my mother did, because in my mother's eyes, that was her only shot at having any financial security in her life.  It would be the same scenario for his sister, although not so severe.  And she would feel it would be justified - she was the one who had stuck by their side in their old age.  You know, maybe that does make it justified.  I don't care about the money, it's not my parents and we will be just fine when we retire, it's the principle, and I know how it feels when someone does that to someone you love to get what they want, how it feels to know that someone saw dollar signs when someone you loved was breathing their last breath. If that happened, Mark doesn't know it, but he would be upset beyond words that she did that not because of money, but because he loves his parents no matter what he says about them.

The thing I don't understand is...since money is so important to her, she gets so freaking jealous of people who do better than her...WHY does she choose a profession everyone knows doesn't pay well?  Why does her husband stay in a job just to be loyal to a friend knowing he'll never move up or be anything other than what he is, not even to get any benefits?

So at this event, I took all of these pictures and posted them on facebook, and one is of my sister-in-law and myself - the one who ran the event, and I put something like she was the nicest and most inspirational sister-in-law I could ask for.  I was speaking from the heart and not really thinking about what I was writing and who would see it besides her.  When Mark read it, he said "Kind of rubbing it in there, aren't you?" with a smile on his face.  When I thought about what he said, I realized what I had done.  His sister would see that and take that as a slap in the face, but you know what?  WHO THE FREAK CARES? It's true!

I'm done worrying about her, caring about her, acknowledging she exists.  When we move to Chicago, I'm unfriending her and her husband and I'm done with them.  Out of my life for good, or as much as I can make them. 

I totally forgot about this song, but it is so decadant and fun and, well, so fitting and amusing when I think about his sister! : )

"I can't stand to be around...
I get sick when I'm around...
I hate everything about you!"


Jen Daisybee said...

Someone just asked me on Facebook how to deal with people who are negative and full of drama hat is always dragging you down. It said, "block, unfriend, get rid of them". It sounds like that is really what might be good for you to do with this person, as you say you plan to do when you move. Good luck!

KansasSunflower said...

Thanks, Jen, you're right! I've already unfriended her once - and that was MAJOR drama! I caved and actually apologized about a year later and sent her a friend request earlier this year. WHY did I do that??? I'm typically (not that I want to be) a grudge holder! So now I'll have to wait until we move to unfriend her, but for now, I've been "unsubscribed" to both her and her husband for months so I don't see anything they post unless I go to their pages, which for some reason I do once in awhile, like when you slow down at a car wreck.

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