All Set To Go.

My dog did the unthinkable - he bit the mailman.  I'm so used to FedEx and UPS ringing the doorbell then leaving packages at the door as they hike it back to their truck that when their was a loud knock at the door (why he didn't ring the doorbell I have no idea) and I saw the mail truck outside, I just assumed the mailman had done the same.  I opened the door and assumed Bailey would stand behind me like always as I picked up the package and brought it in.  To my surprise the mailman was standing there with a package in his hand.  Before I had time to react, Bailey whipped around me and lunged for the bottom of his shoe and was going to town.  It was just too adorable and funny, but I didn't think laughing would be the appropriate response to give to the mailman as my dog is biting his shoe.  The mailman then shoes me the mark on his leg where he said the last dog that day had bit him.  It looked like it must have hurt and I realized it was not some cliche - the mailman really does get bitten by dogs.  I'm not condoning it, Bailey was a bad boy, but I wasn't expecting to see him at my door or I would have grabbed him when I opened it.  I'm sure it startled Bailey when he pounded at the door instead of ringing the doorbell as well.  It was very embarrassing, but I did laugh about it for awhile when he left.  A 5 pound dog attacking the bottom of someone's shoe for about thirty seconds then jumping back to see if it will retaliate looks pretty funny.  It wouldn't have been funny if Bailey weighed 50 pounds though.  Then I would be telling a completely different story that would probably involve the emergency room.

So we're all set to move to Chicago and be moved into a corporate apartment in Lombard on the 10th of January.  We had one picked out in Elmhurst but that fell through and we liked the one in Lombard next, so that's where we'll be living until our house sells and we buy a new one.  I know nothing about Lombard except people say there are nice restaurants there.  It's small - going from a 3500 sq house to a 759 sf apartment will be very different, but a new experience. Not looking forward to having to walk the dog in a Chicago winter instead of just letting him out into the backyard.  I think he likes his backyard, too.  Oh well, it's not forever.  I am worried about the transition for him.  He is such a little creature of habit and does not do well with any kind of change.  He often gets scared and hides under the bed for the strangest reasons and won't come out, and car rides?  He shakes uncontrollably until he figures out we're on the way home.  I am planning on going to the vet to see if they will give me medication for him for anxiety for the trip to Chicago at the very least.

There's still quite a bit to do to finish getting the house ready to put on the market before we leave for Chicago, but a lot is going to be done by other people, so I'm pretty bored since I'm not in school.  We didn't decorate for Christmas since we're moving - in fact, we threw all of our Christmas things away except for the ornaments that are sentimental to us. It hardly seems like Christmas to me at all this year.  I haven't wrapped a single gift, although I've bought a few.  I'm hoping next year will be very different.  I wonder what my blog post will be like this time next year?  Will I be happier in Chicago?  Will I hate it?  They say wherever you go, there you are.  I don't see why it would make a difference where I live, but yet it could.  One big thing that worries me is school.  If I think I don't fit in at school now, I really don't think I will fit in when I move to Chicago.  I will be a minority, for sure.  I know that as a fact after checking demographics.  Here, I don't fit in for socio-economic reasons.  There, it's still that, but also racial reasons as well.  I wonder how that is going to go?

It's Time to Move It - Move It!

Looks like we will be moving to Chicago the beginning of January (yes, a few weeks away!). Mark's company decided to rent an apartment for us while our house is on the market. We're really rushing to get everything done - the house prepped to put on the market in January, I'm trying to get everything to enroll in a new school when the semester starts as well as finish everything that's required as the quarter ends at my current school, it's been a bit crazy. 

The most overwhelming is getting the house ready to put on the market.  An appraiser came and gave us a list of what needed to be fixed and while it's nothing major or very expensive, it's a list that requires time to do things ourselves, people to schedule to do others, along with carpet cleaning, a painter (we tried it ourselves, didn't work), a staging company to come out - all this by January.  I have to finish "decluttering the house" which I've done a ton of, but being bipolar, and I guess that's why, I'm just a freaking clutterer.  If you look at pictures of houses for sale on the internet, there is nothing in the houses anywhere - on the cabinets, just - nothing! And if there is, even toys in a kid's room or papers in an office, I think (because we are also looking to BUY a house) "what a messy house!  I don't want THAT house!" The super clean house is what our house has to look like.  I'm so glad I don't have to LIVE that way and will be living in an apartment in Chicago.  A professional photographer still has to come and take pictures of the inside and outside of our house, oh my gosh, so much to do!  At least we don't have to worry too much about what to move to Chicago - the apartment will be furnished with everything, even sheets and dishes, silverware, etc.  They told Mark if he had a dinner party or something like that to call them and tell them what he needed and they would provide it and other things like that.  A dinner apartment in a one bedroom apartment?  I don't think so, but I appreciate the gesture.

It seems unreal to me that I won't be living here in a few weeks. I was saying goodbye to people at school on Friday and was caught off guard by people being sad that I was leaving.  I still had the picture in my mind of being in the 8th grade, moving during the Christmas holidays and walking out of the school to my mom's car caring about no one and no one caring about me.  It was such a sad and lonely feeling.  I thought it would be the same way here, but it wasn't.  There was hugging, promises of keeping in touch, dinner before I left,  email addresses exchanged, and a request by my teacher not to say goodbye until I came to pick up my transcript next week, although we probably already said goodbye about three times. 

Mark hasn't told his parents and I don't know how they will react.  They know we are moving, they just have no idea it is next month, they think it's when the house will sell, and who knows when that will be - they have plenty of time.  I don't think they will be that upset, but Mark thinks his mother will be.  I think it's good that Mark is getting away from here.  He's lived here his whole life and has a lot of bad memories associated with it such as being bullied in school.  It was very liberating for me to move to a new state and start over, putting the past behind me, and while I'll always consider Kansas my home, whenever I go back it takes only about a day and I can't wait to leave.  Not if I go to say, Overland Park or somewhere that doesn't remind me of where I grew up, but in a town I lived in, it's like nails on a chalkboard and right now I remember it, but I usually forget bout it until I'm there.  I bet he finds that once he's gone for awhile and he comes back to visit, he'll experience the same thing.  He has a lot of bad memories here.  Time to make new happier ones.

For me?  I don't know, I didn't think I would feel sad about leaving, I thought I wouldn't care, but I'm finding that I am a bit sad, I do feel some attachment to our city. This weekend we've been going to our normal places and I stop and think "I won't be coming here anymore" and sure, it makes me sad. There's comfort in the familiar, and Mark and I have had basically the same schedule on the weekends for the past two years - we go to the same restaurants for lunch every Saturday and Sunday.  I order the exact same lunch every Saturday and Sunday, not because I love it so much, but because I can eat out and I know how many calories I'm eating and not hating.

Which reminds me of weight.  I've probably put on about 5 pounds, which doesn't sound like a lot, but in the mirror, to me, it looks like 15.  I can still wear the same clothes except for one pair of jeans that really were too small already before I gained 5 pounds, they just fit a bit more snug and I'm conscious of muffin top. I suppose January 1st, like everyone else, I'll start vigorously working out to drop and and hopefully the last 15 more.  I was into the 130's and still had 15 pounds to go. Now I'm into the low 140's and that just makes me feel so much more fat to go from the 130's to the 140's even though it's 5 pounds.  If it was 131 to 136 that wouldn't feel so bad, but it wouldn't feel good.  Still, 130's is not the ideal weight for me either.

I'm really worried about moving to Chicago and gaining weight, getting off my regular diet and eating all their fattening food - being cold and my body storing body fat to keep warm.  It just seems like people are fatter in colder places, but maybe that's my imagination.  I do prefer to run in cold weather opposed to sweltering hot, even if it's 20 degrees or lower.  We'll see what happens! 

Selling the House - So Stressful!

Everything has gotten so real all of a sudden.  I thought I was so ready to just pack up and leave the state and move to another city, but now that it's coming down to interviewing realtors to sell our house and appraisers coming -  all at the request of the relocation company from my husband's company's employer, it is making it a reality. It's very stressful and scary. 

We went to couple's therapy and both conveyed our stress to her, and she said stress even when you are wanting to move to a house you like in the same city is very stressful.  So, I guess this is that stress times a million, I don't know. 

With Mark traveling so much for work, I'm going to have to do a lot of this by myself to get the house ready to put on the market by the first of January. The outlook is far from good.  We've been paying on our house for ten years, and we're STILL upside down.  That's *crazy*!  It could be worse.  We have enough in savings to make up the difference, but for people living in states or cities where they have $100k or more to make up, we just wouldn't be able to move.

On top of that, of course we have to come up with *more* cash for a downpayment on a new house.  I know, so why buy right away?  Why not rent, save up, decide where you want to live in a new city?  Because his company is pushing us to buy, buy, buy right away.  They have all of these incentives to buy a house immediately after we move, all of these things they will pay for us if we buy a house within 60 days of selling our house and moving to corporate housing, and that would be a lot of money to waste if we didn't use it.

I guess his company wants us to plant roots right away in case we move there and decide we hate it - that way we've bought a house, we're stuck.  I don't know, I'm guessing.  I could be wrong.  It might just be a nice perk.  But THAT is stressful as well because realtors in that city want to know where I want to live so they (I guess I talked to the relocation company again, I'm starting to get confused about who I am talking to on the phone) can assign me to a realtor in the correct area - there are 24 offices in the city.  So will the interview process take place AGAIN to find a realtor to work with there?  I have no idea.

But after talking to the realtors, for me, having a house on the market is going to be very stressful.  I'm not this super clean person, keeping everything perfect all the time in the house in case someone wants to look at it.  I don't make my bed when I leave - that's only a very small example. 

And this is all going to be mainly on me like I said, keeping the house this way.  And yes, while it is mainly me that will be making the messes in the first place, I don't have an eye for perfection at home. We have a maid service for that. 

All of the decluttering we've been doing - they want nothing to be anywhere, it's so much work.  But - it's things that have needed to be done.  I don't want to move things I never use anyway.  Some things I have been parting with have been bittersweet.  While I don't use them or wear them and I know I never will again, it doesn't mean I want to get rid of something.  Maybe that makes me a hoarder, I don't know.

So much to do before the end of December - carpet cleaning, maybe some replacement, painting, a bit of fencework, cleaning windows where we can't reach, I have no idea what else - whatever else either of the freaking two appraisers coming tells me.  And oh yes, the termite inspector is coming today too. 

Have I said I hate it when people I don't know come in my house?  I do, it makes me very uncomfortable until they leave.

I would say let's just fast forward to this time next year, but time goes by too fast already, I don't want to lose a year of my life and be a year older instantly.  And maybe this will end up being a fun experience.  But the part where we buy a house sure seems a lot more fun than this part of selling a house.
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