Back to Feeling Normal?

I received my Latuda in the mail today, all is right in the world again.  Of course it doesn't work that fast, but my mood did pick up after I had the break down a couple of days ago and I stupefied myself with all that klonipin.  My husband commented today when I picked up my medication that I seemed happy without it, I was laughing, etc.  Hello, welcome to the world of being bipolar with extreme mood swings!  Just as fast as I'm happy and laughing, I can come crashing down and the world is awful, terrible, and nothing in it is good.  Today I *love love love* Chicago, don't want to be anywhere else, think this is the best move I could have ever made.  I bet if you read my blog a few days ago, it probably says that this is the worst thing I could have ever done and everything has gone wrong.  It's either all good or all bad when I'm not taking the proper dosage or all of my medication. 

I am just really feeling lately that the mentally ill are being treated unfairly by the government lately. Not that they have been doing it lately, I'm sure it's been all along, but I have noticed it lately. In Chicago, this really cute girl with bipolar disorder, maybe 22 years old or so who had just graduated from college and might have moved back in with her parents had what they described in the news as an "episode", I don't know what they mean by that.  All I know is that they arrested her and she was throwing herself against the bars in her cell, so it must have been quite an "episode" and she was very manic.  Anyway, her parents called the jail NINE TIMES, NINE - to tell them about her mental illness and perhaps to pick her up.  So what did they do?  They dropped her off in short shorts and a cropped off shirt in a high crime area without a cellphone where she was raped and thrown out of a 7 story building, causing permanent physical damage, including brain damage.  She'll have to be cared for by her parents for the rest of her life.  Chicago awarded the family the highest payout ever for the city - $25 million.  But why did it get to that?  And why are people with mental illness taking the fall for gun ownership and all of these new laws?  Sure, it's easy to explain away a horrendous crime by saying "that person must have been mentally ill and shouldn't have had a gun", but that's usually not the case. It may seem like anyone who would commit a horrendous crime would be mentally ill, but no, psychopaths obviously really do exist!

The house hunting is exhausting, and I feel like we've been given a lemon of a real estate agent in helping us find a house. She's not very helpful in the actual finding of homes, we do better ourselves searching the internet and sending her addresses of what we want to see.  And then there are mix-ups that I have to correct and I try to be polite, but sometimes I'm just in a rush and send off an email without a chance to think to say "please", etc.  I think we're looking at 9 or 10 houses tomorrow.  Apartment living is NOT for us.  Maybe if we hadn't lived in our house for 10 years and had always lived in an apartment that would be different. But there are so many things I hate about it, so many inconveniences that I took for granted when I lived in a house, even as simple as deliveries to my door instead of going to the office to pick up packages during their hours, making that extra trip that may be for nothing if the package isn't even there.  That's just one small inconvenience out of about a million, but...we are paying absolutely nothing to live in a very nice apartment so I should just be thankful.  And I am!  I just want to buy a house and move already!

I gave in and bought a "puffy coat" today for the cold weather here.  I walked about a mile from my school to the train station and knew if I was going to do that regularly, I would need very warm clothing.  I actually do want to do it regularly - it's good exercise.  We went to Nordstrom's and they were having a great sale!  I bought a really cute coat - well, cute, hmm.  I don't think the puffy coats are cute, but it's a nice coat, actually the nicest coat I've ever owned, but it's the first coat I've ever really *needed* for frigid temperatures.  It was $800 on sale for a little over $500, which is still a lot but I got a lot for that. I think it's made by Dawn Levy - you can google it and get an idea of what it looks like.  The fur makes it pretty, and I didn't realize until I got home that it was real fox fur.  I don't know how I feel about that - wearing real fur even if it's just trim, but I assumed it was faux when I bought it.  The leather gloves are my favorite though - I'm an easy girl to please that way. ; )  I've never owned serious winter weather clothes before unless you count my Uggs!  When we still lived in Dallas, I had decided for Chicago I wanted a shearling coat, but those are about $1500, and I don't think they even have those at Nordstrom.  Maybe next year!  Or the next, or the next, or....

I ran today - just a 5k, and there's really nowhere to run around here.  I was running around parking lots and things.  Very boring.  But food here is so freaking fattening that I've got to pick up the exercise!  I cook at home as much as I can!  There are TONS, and I mean TONS of running trails here, we just don't happen to live near one.

I can't emphasize enough how nice people are here.  They just are.  They are Midwesterns and proud of it, just as I'm proud to be a Midwestern who was stuck in the south for waaaay too long.  I try not to say that to Mark because he is missing Texas I'm sure, the way I used to miss Kansas, but it sure feels good to be back with people who seem to be more like me. : )

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