No Help From Anyone

Somehow I left Texas with an almost empty bottle of Latuda, leaving my new 3-month supply.  I've been out for three days, and today I'm feeling it.  It seems too soon, but I'm incredibly weepy, I guess depressed, I don't know, but I can't stop crying at anything or to anyone. Moving to Chicago seems like the worst possible thing I could have done and nothing seems to have gone right for me since I've moved here.

For all the hoopla being made in the news right now about "OH MY GOD THE MENTALLY ILL", you'd think if I'd left my medicine in Texas and moved to Illinois the insurance company would bend over backwards to make sure I had medication so I wouldn't go off the charts and do who knows what harm to humanity.  But no, they denied a refill, and Latuda is extremely expensive.  I called my psychiatrist in Texas and the receptionist is going to ask if he will call in a 30 day refill to a pharmacy here in Illinois, but of course I'll have to pay for it.  I'm sure it will be over $500, I hope not over $1000.  Then she warned me some prescriptions can't be prescribed over state lines.  She didn't know which ones.

I just took 3 klonipin, I don't know what else to do.  Sit here and cry?  Think about how everything has gone wrong?  Worry about the future? Cry about the past? It seems so desperate and so sad and I feel so lonely and so alone and...I really can't take this.  I really can't.

I really can't take this.  I really can't.  I can't live this way, but I feel like no one is going to be able to help me.  People scream in the news every day I watch it about the "mentally ill" and how dangerous they are, yet...there is little to no help for us.  I'm no danger to anyone but myself, but I now see how little help the "mentally ill"  have.  People just like to complain about us and blame us, not help us.

2 comments:

loonysuse said...

I think you should try a support group.

loonysuse said...

dbsalliance.org.

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