Pushing is Hard!

I've been here for a month and I finally made an appointment with a new psychiatrist today.  They can't get me in until late April, which I was totally expecting.  I don't know why psychiatrists push off new patients like that, but it just seems like they always do.

I'm really pushing myself, training for the 8k race in April. I can run 5k now, so that's 2 more miles I've got to be able to run in less than two months.  It's totally do-able, it's just that I forgot how hard pushing yourself to your limit can be. Yesterday I went to the gym (oh my gosh, I HATE running on the treadmill, but it was too cold to run outside) and set the speed for 30 seconds faster than I ran a week ago. I set the timer to run for 45 minutes, because that is how I'm going to train.  Just add five more minutes of running every week - go by time, not by distance.  That's how I trained to run a 5k and then a 10k, but I haven't run a 10k in almost a year which is why I'm having to train again. I don't know WHY I set it for 30 seconds faster except that it just seemed like I could run faster than what I was. So with 7 minutes left of my run, I was dying and slowed it down to my regular speed.  When I was done, I got off the treadmill and was SO DRAINED.  Not "fall asleep" drained, but had absolutely no energy, and for some reason when I do very intense cardio in a gym (not outside), afterwards, my nose runs constantly and I can't stop sneezing, it's awful and very bizarre, so I had that to deal with for the rest of the day yesterday.  I was a total waste of space after the run for the whole day.  There was so much I wanted to do, but all I could do was sit around and did a few loads of laundry.  I'm better today.  I'm not cutting back though, I'm pushing through. The first time you push yourself is the worst time.  Usually the second time it's a bit easier, and then the third time it doesn't seem nearly as hard and after that, it's time to push yourself again!  Each week, I'm running 3 times a week at the same time allowance, adding 5 more minutes each week until I'm up to 8k.  Totally do-able, just have to remember how hard that first time I add five minutes is going to be!

I guess because I just started taking the Phentermine it seems really powerful to me.  It's not that I don't want to eat, I do, I want to keep my metabolism up, it's just that it's so unappealing.  It literally took me three hours to eat a container of yogurt for breakfast, and I'm supposed to eat so much more than that for breakfast, and by the time I was done with that, I should have already had a snack and should now be preparing lunch!  Um, no.  I'm guessing that as time goes on its potency wears off a bit.  But...I'm also guessing right now my metabolism is going way the frick down which is not good at all!  If I don't eat lunch, it will be the first meal I've skipped since taking it, but I am practicing small portion control at meals, eating way less than I normally would. I don't know what to think, if this will work. You can't starve yourself and expect that to work long term.  Even short term, eventually your body will be used to you starving yourself and store body fat and gain weight if you eat normally. I don't know, I need food to train, but I want to lose weight, I'll just keep trying this for now and maybe force myself to eat a bit when I'm supposed to.  Sure, I want to be thin, but I don't want to be unhealthy.

So much to do to move into the new house next week! I've called so many services today to get things started!  Not utilities, Mark does those, but maid service, pest control, locksmith, and called to set up an appointment to get my car serviced and buy new tires for this freaking cold weather since it now has performance tires.  Doesn't do well on snowy or icy roads!  The BMW dealer told me I should change my tires for the winter, then change them back when the weather is warmer. Huh?  That seems like too much work!  Isn't there just a tire that I can keep all the time?  I'm very low maintenance when it comes to cars and hate having to get anything done to my car, which is why the service light has been on for at least a month even though it's free to get my car serviced.  I can't imagine having to go back and forth to get my tires changed when it gets colder/warmer. What a hassle!  And where do you keep the tires that you're not using?  How do you get them home? And then back again?  But I guess when in Rome...

I need to go to the grocery store and I've been putting it off since yesterday.  Ugh.  Guess I'd better get in the shower!



Kristy said...

I have snow tires that get put on in November and come off in April. I used to have them stored at the tire place for a fee. I'm a little cheap so I bring them home and put them in the garage. They wrap the tire in bags to put in the back of the truck so it isn't messy. I also get a discount for having snow tires with my insurance. If you have a lot of snow to deal with you really need snow tires and not all season.

KansasSunflower said...

That's good to know! Thanks, Kristy! : ) I needed someone to explain all of that to me!!!!

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