Still So New!

A lot is going on in my life right now, but I don't know if it's really blog-worthy.  I'm not FEELING a lot of anything, just doing a lot of activities and constantly on the go. I don't have much time to stop and think, "how am I feeling?", when before I moved, I had way too much time to think about it.  That may have been part of my problem.

The house situation is kind of in limbo at the moment.  We're waiting to see if the home owners will make the necessary repairs that the inspector found - nothing major, but now that we know they're there, of course we want them fixed.  So strange, in Illinois, just to buy a house, both parties apparently hire attorneys and work through those instead of the real estate agents communicating these things to each other and negotiating.  Seems a little over-the-top but...who am I to argue.  When in Rome? 

I've started throwing myself a lot more into school lately - I hope it continues.  I really want to finish!  I'm tired of going to school, and something else.  I absolutely LOATHE the commute to the city! My school is a mile from the train station and I don't mind walking, I actually like the exercise, but it's not so great when it's 3 degrees with a negative wind chill or when it's cold and raining outside.  Then it's absolutely miserable!

I will say people on the Metra (train that goes to and from the suburbs to the city) are quite fascinating to me.   Their conversations which have no filter and obviously are oblivious to those around them, the clothes they've chosen to wear, the activities they do while on the train, I find it all so interesting. It's also nice to just sit there and have someone else take you to your destination and not worry about traffic or anything. The Metra is actually very nice for public transportation and the people aren't the kind of people you would see on public transportation in other cities.  They are, well, NORMAL.  Ha.

I'm going to a Weight Loss Clinic on Saturday. I hope they can help me. I bought some package that included a consultation, I'm sure nutrition counseling, 5 B-12 shots, a month's worth of prescription appetite suppresants and I can't remember what else. I am really debating whether or not to tell them I'm bipolar and on medication. I don't know if they will do lab work - run any tests on my thyroid, metabolism, etc., and even if they do, would it include a drug screen? And if it did include a drug screen, would that find anything?  I suppose klonipin, it would find benzo's right?  I have no idea.  But the doctor will probably ask how I gained weight to begin with - well, Seroquel and Geoden, but I've lost about 50 pounds of it, I would just like help with the rest of it and I've started gaining again. We don't have a scale since we moved - the movers put almost all of our stuff in storage except for what we packed in our SUV, so I have no idea what I weigh right now.  Which may be good or bad.

I'm running at 8k mile race in April which I used to run regularly (5 miles), but can only run 5k now.  It's with some of Mark's friends, so I've got to work on my distance!  My time will be slower than a turtle, but I know I can do it. Worst case scenario is I walk part of the last two miles, but who cares.  I'm not trying to beat anyone.  I really want to be able to run the whole thing though, no matter how slow I have to go.  It's a bummer when you have to work your endurance back to where it once was!

We've been doing a lot of things with Mark's friends, and they're all super nice, but I want to make my own friends here. I had planned on going to a meeting of a woman's club in the city we will be moving to, but on that day the weather was really bad and I couldn't have made it on time and couldn't go.  They were very nice and invited me to their next meeting in March. If all goes well with the house, we will be living in that city then and it won't be such an ordeal getting there.  That would be nice to have friends living within a few miles from me!  And doing charity work with them!  Mark said he loves that he can take me anywhere, put me in any situation, and I'm just "on". That's not really true.  It depends on the person. Some people have walls up and I never know how to take that.  Do they not like me? But I always remember that's the same thing I thought with Mark when I met him - wow, I thought he did NOT like me at all!  I was not interested in him romantically, but we sat next to each other at work and I just wanted to be friends, but he wanted none of it.  He wouldn't talk to me which was perplexing to me because at that time I made everyone my friend. He was totally 100% into his career which he's always been. I finally gave up, he and his wife started going through a divorce, and suddenly he realized I existed.  That is a bit reassuring to me now, that he might act that way to other women at work, although I hope he is a bit nicer!  That was a little extreme!  I've tried to soften him since we've been together.  I'm sure every woman tries to "fix" her man in some way or another!

I still haven't found a psychiatrist.  I've only looked for one once.  It's just that getting around in the city is such a HASSLE unless it's nearby, so I'm kind of waiting until we're settled.  Yet I don't just want to choose a psychiatrist simply because they're the closest.  I've had a bad psychiatrist and they can ruin you if you can't communicate with them or...they are just bad at what they do. I need to find an OB/GYN too, and it's about time for another mammogram and, and, and....omg another round of doctor visits is coming!  Ugh!  Let me hide my head under the pillows and wake me when it's all over!  I absolutely hate going to these kinds of doctors.  Wait - I can't think of a doctor I do like to go to.  I guess the plastic surgeon for botox maybe, but I don't actually like getting botox, it's just that it's something elective I choose to do instead of HAVE to.  I need to find a hair salon, everything.  Absolutely everything.  It's overwhelming.  I don't even an Illonois driver's license or license plate yet!

Well, back to bed!

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