So he does some kind of robotic procedure, called the da Vinci I think. I talked to Mark about it and he didn't want to give his opinion at all since he felt it was a personal female decision, but after we discussed all my symptoms and how it hinders my life, he finally said after all I go through every month, if it made it all go away forever, it would be worth it which I absolutely agree IF there is no menopause involved. But all the recovery time! The doctor said three weeks! Three weeks? And I read on the internet that that is actually GOOD! If it was an open hysterectomy surgery, not minimally invasive, it would be 4-6 weeks! What the heck am I going to do for three weeks? He said I will just feel like sleeping all the time, but I've had enough surgeries in the last 10 years to know how doctors minimize post-op recovery. Three weeks is a hell of a long time!
So...if I decide to do this, and I have to do SOMETHING *eventually*, I mean I can't just continue like this forever and let it continue to get worse, then I won't be able to start school at the new school when the quarter starts in April. No matter when the operation got scheduled, even if it was tomorrow, it wouldn't be enough time, and who's to say with 100% certainty that I would be completely recovered in three weeks? I don't even *know* what I would be feeling that I would be recovering from except for him saying I would want to sleep all the time. I can't find much on the internet about post-op, but I haven't done a lot of research yet.
Blah. I don't want to think about it anymore. But I do have an appointment to visit the school tomorrow and I'm not sure if I should go. They will want me to enroll, and while yes, it would be good to see the school, I don't want to go all the way there, visit the school with the expectation that I'm going to enroll for the April quarter, for me to just say "I won't be starting this quarter because I'm having a medical procedure....". If I were them, I would be wondering what kind of procedure would require you to recover for THAT long, and I just don't want to get into it. If I do tell them I'm having a medical procedure, I'd rather not do it in person, but short and sweet in an email, without possibly seeing a quizzical look.
So I'm really stressed about decorating the house. I've looked at tons of pictures, we've visited several furniture stores and decided the style we like best, but now is the hard part. The first time we bought furniture for our first house ten years ago, it was SO much easier. You just went to the furniture store, picked out what you liked, and they delivered it. I remember for our living room, they had one all set up, and I just said "I'll take this whole room!", and I did, picture and all. I'd like to go back to that! But now we're shopping at furniture stores that are quite different. You pick out a style of, say, a couch, then you choose what kind of arm, then what kind of legs and what color of wood, then what kind of fabric, maybe even what it's stuffed with? then what fabric on the throw pillows, etc. I think you even have the choice of having the cushions be attached or detached, oh my gosh, I mean *everything* is like that, a million questions. I've got to decide the fabric on the dining room chairs and do we want marble on the top of the bedroom dresser? Do I want the whole house to flow? Do I want different colors in different rooms? I DO NOT KNOW! That's why I tried to hire a designer! It's just too many details! And that's just the furniture! There are still rugs and artwork and lamps and, and, and. Maybe if it was one room, but it's four, plus part of the master bedroom. And I'm TRYING to include Mark - I don't want to hear in a couple of years that he hates everything and we bought it all because *I* liked it which has happened before on certain things, but he works so much and is very tired when he gets home and he tries so hard to look at pictures with me and works in saving pictures at work that he likes to show me at home, but I end up feeling really sorry for him. I always tell him we'll do it another night, to which he objects but if I won't do it there's nothing he can say. There's always the weekends.
So now I'm kind of bored and feel like my life is stalled, and it makes me feel even worse because he is working so hard and his job is so stressful, and here I am, just sitting at home. I'm not going to school, I don't want to work on figuring out how I want the house decorated when Mark is just too tired to tell me what he likes anyway, and if he did I don't know if he is just saying that BECAUSE he is so tired.
And I'm in a city where I don't know anyone hardly. But you know, when I was in a city where I knew people, I didn't do anything with them, either. So what's the difference? Nothing.