Decision Made, Let's Go Already!

After doing a lot of research on the internet and considering all of the problems I've had and all of the surgeries I've already had and each time everything grows back by my next yearly appointment, I decided to go ahead and get a hysterectomy.  Maybe I could shop around and find a doctor who would prescribe birth control pills, but I think I've come to a point where I just want all of this to go away and not deal with it ever again as long as I can keep my ovaries so I don't get a hormonal imbalance. 

I called the scheduling nurse when I made the decision, and when I made such a monumental decision like that, I wanted to get moving on it, and she didn't call me back that day and I had questions I needed answered - like what type of recovery was needed for three weeks?  I need to decide if I should enroll in school for the next quarter and don't have much time left to do that, so I was, and am, very anxious.  The doctor gave me his email address, but I don't feel comfortable using it just yet, at least not for this.  She didn't call me back yesterday either which greatly annoyed me and I was wondering if this was even the doctor for me if his staff was so unresponsive, so I called the office instead of her main number and found out she is out until Monday.  So that's a relief!  She wasn't simply ignoring me or being incredibly slow to respond.

I did find a support group for women online that's a forum where people can ask each other and answer for each other questions they have about their hysterectomies.  The initial questions I have they have answered or at least given me their experience.  One girl is in the exact same position as I am - in school, no kids, same procedure, new city.  It's comforting know you're not alone sometimes.

I hate when my blog turns out to be my medical woes! 

Today was my weigh day, it's always Friday morning when I wake up, and I lost another three pounds!  So now I'm at 133.6 with 8 more pounds to go.  I'm 5'6" and I think the best I've ever looked was at 118, but I would be happy with 125.  Since I started my weight loss program THIS time in February, I've lost 16 pounds!  That is a really huge number for me for that length of time.  My highest weight was 195 about...3 years ago?  That's when I started cutting back on medication (with my psych's permission) - Seroquel first, then a year later, Geodon.  At 195 was also when I had my driver's license picture taken, and I cringe every time someone asks to see it.  I had no idea at that time that even my face looked heavier.  I will be quite happy to get a new driver's license in Illinois!  But, I think Phentermine has taken a toll on me.  I don't think I'm as positive as I was before I started taking it.  I certainly feel weaker because I'm eating less, and I won't miss it when I stop taking it unless I feel like I want to eat everything in the house.  I only have this remaining prescription and one more month after that, and after three months I know they make you take a month off.  I don't think they would let me start again on month five, but if they did, that place is absolutely shady, but I know myself, and I know I'll at least try, no matter what I end up weighing!

The Shamrock Shuffle (8k) is in 15 days and I haven't been training for it like I should have been.  I can run four miles, but I haven't ran five miles in about a year.  I have two weeks to work up to that extra mile and I don't think that's long enough, especially when I should run lighter than normal the week before the race. Well - I'm not competing with anyone or trying to medal, I just want to finish running the whole way and not stop to walk.  This would have been a breeze a year ago, and it's hard to swallow that I've let my endurance go that I worked so hard to achieve.   

Tomorrow we're going to the furniture store and work with the designer to make some decisions and order as much as we can to get the process started!  I have no idea as to what we'll agree on - maybe just a couch, or the dining room table and chairs, or maybe a whole room, or everything, who knows?  I finally stopped freaking out over it and decided if I ended up hating everything in five years, recovering items was always an option as long as they were quality pieces.   I'm just really tired of looking at pictures of rooms and furniture and fabric and color schemes, etc.   But, not nearly as tired as looking at this horrible leather family room couch that has rips where you can see the stuffing! Not sure how that happened, but I'm sure it's because it's a cheap leather sofa we bought ten years ago.  My one rule to Mark - NO MORE LEATHER (unless it's his office, then he's free to do anything he wants).  I think leather looks pretty, but what a bad experience!  Oh yes, and no lazy-boys, but that has always been a rule.  Does that make me a mean wife?  He likes my hair to be blonde and has made it clear he does not want me to get bangs, so if I don't want a Lazy-Boy in the house when he wants one, what's the difference?  We put so few rules on each other and these are so minor, so if it makes each other happy, why not do (or not do) it?

4 comments:

susie said...

My mom had a hysterectomy at 36. They did it vaginally and left her ovaries. I was 11 at the time and hardly noticed... She seemed to recover quickly. She says she doesn't know when menopause hit. I guess she didn't have hot flashes.


jenji said...

So the ultimate horror combo scenario in your home would be to have a leather sofa with bangs. You'd both be indignant.

I understand your frustration in looking for furnishings. I just finished up designing and decorating my new home, but I literally took it one day at a time so I wouldn't get overwhelmed. In the end I stuck with Ashley Furniture. My choices were a bit specific in that I have some chemical allergies, so I bought a latex bed (no harmful off gassing), had the wood bedroom set "airing out" at the warehouse for about two months now, no VOC paint and had all laminate floors put in so that I wouldn't have to deal with any off gassing from carpets or pads. Also, less dust can get trapped etc. I'm moving into a very green home with high energy air filtration system and I'm so very thankful and excited.

Aunt Flo can suck it because I'm moving on up!

best,
jenji

KansasSunflower said...

Susie - that's good to know! I hear horror stories about hot flashes and women just being so emotional because they're hormonal! If you don't remember anything, then it couldn't have been too bad! : )

KansasSunflower said...

Very funny, Jenji! Good idea to have your furniture air out - hadn't thought of that. I'm allergic to dust, too - so that's an issue for me as well. I'll bet your new house looks so pretty!

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