I was told to get one week of physical and mental rest. That just seemed a bit crazy to me - a whole week of doing absolutely nothing? And I didn't have most of the concussion symptoms, mainly just horrible, horrible headaches. So he finally said if I was symptom free by Monday, I could go back to school, but absolutely nothing physical or mental until then. I had to ask what was "mental rest"? He gave examples like doing math problems or learning new information. Well, I don't make it a habit of sitting around doing math, but sure, that meant I can't do anything for school which is not good. Not only can I not go, but I can't do anything for it either. Maybe I shouldn't even be writing this post, I really have no idea what "mental rest" is. He said to just watch television. Or maybe I'm confused because I'm in a permanent state of mental rest? No clue.
So while I was there, I found it interesting that the nurse never asked me if I was on any medications. I was glad, but thought it was weird. She left and the doctor came in and asked me some of the same questions, and always for some reason here, the biggest question is "do you smoke? have you ever been a smoker? do you ever plan to smoke?". That is a bigger question I have found so far by doctors than what medications you take, I have no idea why. I find it odd. So then he worded the next question like this, "And you're not on any medications?", so...I said "No."
I now realize if I'm going to the doctor for a head injury that could affect my brain, disclosing psychiatric medications I'm taking could be a very crucial piece of information, but I didn't consider that at the time. I'm very concerned about this whole disclosure of who is mentally ill to the government and what I tell to whom and what they could do with that information. So then he added to my paranoia!
He was looking on his computer, and asked me who a certain doctor was, someone who had prescribed medication for me and I had no clue who or what he was talking about. I had told the nurse I had tried taking some old hydrocodone from a surgery in 2010 and it hadn't worked on my headache, so I thought maybe he was talking about him and looked at the name on the bottle, but he said no and then said it was in liquid form. Then I remembered I had bronchitis when I first came to Illinois, went to an emergency clinic and for some bizarre reason he prescribed it to me as a cough syrup. But THAT was in some kind of database?
That totally freaked me out. I tried to keep my cool, but I couldn't help but wonder what else he was seeing in whatever database he was looking at. And if only from Illinois, what else would everyone be able to see once I started going to all new doctors, like a psychiatrist? That is *so* not cool. Sure, I can understand wanting to make sure that someone isn't addicted to pain killers or whatever, but where does it end? How much are they going to track? And does that mean if I go to a psychiatrist and then get pulled over for a ticket, the cop will know what medications I'm on? That I'm bipolar? What about future employers, what if they get access to this database? They could definitely make a case for it - wanting to know what drugs their employees are legally taking, like when people take drug tests if they disclose anything that might effect the outcome.
So that made me realize that my appointment with my new GYN - they asked me to have my records faxed from my old OB/GYN and I was going to do that. I have issues that would probably be very important that a new doctor see the past history. But in my records, of course it lists all of my medications.
I don't know. Maybe I need to rethink this whole medication thing. My depressive side is so freaking scary though, it really scares me to think of how low I get, and now I don't have my old psychiatrist who knows exactly what to do to pull me out of it and how fast it needs to happen. But what are my choices? He looked in his database and told me what doctor I saw and what he prescribed! Yes, it was just the hydrocodone that he saw for all I know and it was no big deal, he prescribed more for me and I didn't ask for it when he asked if that's what I wanted. I totally don't care what they give me as long as what they tell me to do will make the pain go away. Tell me to stand on my head for 20 minutes and I'm fine with that too, I don't care as long as it works. Mark doesn't understand why I don't understand how people get addicted to substances, but I just don't. It's never happened to me. I even wanted to become a smoker once but there was no appeal. I didn't "get it" and gave up after a few days.
Maybe this is the concussion talking and I'm super emotional right now. I don't really think I have any concussion symptoms beyond a headache that is nonexistent with lots of Motrin, but I don't like everyone knowing everything, not people that I don't choose to tell and that I don't want to know, and not knowing who knows what and what they will do with that information. It's unsettling. It's scary.
I feel...victimized. I do, I really do. This whole thing about "the mentally ill" and gun control, and I don't want a gun and I don't have a gun, but this whole fear about "the mentally ill", I mean really? So now my rights to privacy are being trampled on because of fear? I don't know about my right to privacy about hydrocodone, that's not my battle to fight because I don't care, but for those who do, more power to you, but if it's about privacy in general, yes, I care very much. What about HIPAA? Is that not included in HIPAA? Maybe the HIPAA forms are different here. I should read what I'm signing in Illinois because I haven't been.