Just Whining

We ran the Shamrock Shuffle  - an 8k run today with some of Mark's friends.  He, of course, had an incredibly fast time that impressed everyone.  I was just happy that I finished all five miles without having to walk to rest at all during the run.  But I keep fighting all of these doctors about what happens to me when I do intense cardio.  I get these bad allergies, similar to a bad cold, but I know I'm not sick, it's just what always happens in certain situations.  I would run MUCH MORE OFTEN if this didn't happen so many times when I run, but then I feel sick the rest of the day and it just doesn't seem worth it.  Who gets a runny nose and sneezes, coughs and itchy eyes after intense cardio?  It doesn't make any sense.  All the doctors tell me it's asthma (cough-variant asthma) caused by allergies, but it's not the symptoms I read for that type of asthma, and the pulmonogist/allergist tested me for tons of allergies, and all he came up with was mites (like dust).  I told my new family doctor about it, but I shouldn't have told him about the breathing test I took when I first began running when I may have had bronchitis because then he just decided it was asthma.  I wanted to RUSH to his office after the run and SHOW HIM my symptoms after the run so he could see - no, it's not freaking asthma, but it's Sunday and his office is closed.  Even Mark says "it's your asthma" - you're overexerting yourself and you can't breathe.  He used to fight me when I really did think I had asthma before these other weird cold symptoms that I did NOT have asthma until I was diagnosed - he would say "I have trouble breathing when I run too, it's normal".  No, it wasn't HARD to breathe because I was running too fast, there was a time when I couldn't get any air at all for a few seconds and it totally freaked me out, my airway was completely blocked, but it seemed like by mucous, it's always mucous that is the problem.  Sorry for being so disgusting, but how exactly is that asthma?  It wouldn't matter what doctor I would choose to go to -  pulmonologist, ENT, any specialist would decide it was one of the many disorders that THEY could treat and again, it could go undiagnosed as whatever it truly is and would not be fixed.. 

Oh my gosh, I am so frustrated with doctors!  Like I've said, they don't listen to me.  And yes, my family doctor said, when I said "the doctors said it's asthma, but I don't believe them", he said "of course, why would you believe a doctor?" in a very joking and good humored way that wasn't meant to be sarcastic, but seriously, they can absolutely be wrong.  I know what I experience, and what they've said just isn't true. 

I swear, sometimes I feel like maybe there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with me.  Maybe I'm a hypochondriac, maybe this is all in my head, it's psychosomatic.  I just need to "snap out of it" - everything, the whole works.  Perhaps I'm melodramatic, make too big of a deal over things that others don't.  But I've just gotten so tired of simply putting up with things, living with things that effect my every day life.  I mean, what would that new family doctor think if I went to his office with allergy type symptoms, but they are so bad right now, just to show him what I was talking about?  Is that really worth an office visit?  I'm not sick like when you go to the doctor for antibiotics, yet...how do I show him what I'm talking about?  When you don't have the symptoms, it's so hard to explain what you mean.  I don't even know for sure that he believes me, but maybe if he sees what I mean, he'll see why I don't think it's asthma.  Okay, maybe I do have asthma at times, I don't know, I could possibly buy that, but THIS isn't asthma.

I just want to be able to run.  That's all, and unpack the boxes in my office, but I know that at least is allergy related because you walk into that room and the dust from the boxes overwhelm you.  Mark commented on it today and said we should get the maids to start cleaning the spare bedrooms.  No allergy medication works, I've tried them all, prescription and non-prescription.

Oh my gosh, I hate whining, but if I don't have my blog to whine to and poor Mark hears too much of it already, where else can I go except the doctor, who tells me the wrong thing and doesn't convince me I have what I don't think I have?  Where's the proof?  No one has been able to induce an asthma attack in a doctor's office, which they should be able to do, so that's just one more reason it doesn't make sense.  AND they can't fix me with inhalers, not these allergy type symptoms, so it totally can't be asthma.


Kristy said...

Could you get allergy shots? Maybe, they could get you on a treadmill to get you worked up to see the symptoms like a stress test. It must be so frustrating.

KansasSunflower said...

I have no idea, Kristy, if I'm allergic to intense cardio, what would they put in the allergy shot? But you're right, I should find a really good allergist or something here and try AGAIN, I just want to run. I'm so sorry you read that whiny post!

Kristy said...

Your post isn't whiny. The little that I know about allergy shots is they formulate a shot. They would make a allergy shot for dust mites.I agree it is a long hard fight to get the best treatment but worth it if you can do something like running that you enjoy.

KansasSunflower said...

Thanks, Kristy. : ) Yes, if I knew in the end I would be able to do something I like to do (not always enjoy, but something I want to do, anyway), it would be well worth it. But the family doctor doesn't always know what is wrong with you - what he tells you to do doesn't work and it's simply what other doctors have told you to do that didn't work - so it's like you have to diagnose yourself and pick the specialist you think knows what is wrong with you and it's a gamble. I foresee a long road ahead!

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