The morning OF!

So, bummer.  Yesterday was an all liquids and laxatives day and then I found out yesterday afternoon I don't have to be at the hospital until 2:30, and my surgery will be 2-3 hours AFTER that!  Why is that bad news?  Because I can not eat *NOR* drink anything today until after my surgery!  That's freaking crazy.  I did get up and drink a cup of coffee this morning, come on, it's JUST coffee.  I was going to snack on a little something yesterday when Mark was home, and he freaked out, saying I would throw up during surgery and choke and die, and I told him they must be prepared for those situations, I'm sure that's happened before, and I wouldn't even know it had happened if did, I would wake up with no knowledge.  That was not the right answer, ha.  So, to ease his worries, I did not eat anything.  That was actually a good thing, because once I started drinking the 64 ounces of gatorade mixed with the laxative, I felt so incredibly naseaus towards the end.  I could not finish it, if I started to take another gulp, I knew I would throw up.   Honestly, even without the laxative, and even though it wasn't the super sugary kind but still too sweet, gatorade is disgusting.  I have absolutely no clue why people drink it, ESPECIALLY during or after working out.  I did start that cough that turns into a throw up gag where you get that feeling that your stomach is lurching up, and you get scared that you're about to throw up, does anyone know what I'm talking about?  I mean think about how much liquid 64 ounces is, and I was supposed to drink it all in two hours.  My stomach simply is not big enough I don't think, that must have been the problem.  I did my best, and that's all I can do. I probably drank *maybe* 2/3 of it and it seemed to do the trick, or at least good enough so they can tell I at least tried. 

There's a website I found awhile back, when I first was considering the hysterectomy called Hyster Sisters.  It's so awesome, the women are very supportive, answer questions, you can read their stories and get an idea of what to expect, on ALL ends of the spectrum - from the good, bad, and ugly, so I  feel somewhat prepared for anything - but you never know until it actually happens.  There all kinds of tips about everything I can think of, and all kinds of things I would never, ever would have thought of.

So I posted about how freaking emotional I had been and this morning I read all their replies about how they had felt the same - but even so much worse!  Getting sleeping medications and anxiety medications days or weeks before their surgeries because they were so upset and emotional - and yes, I already take those, but...they hadn't been I'm assuming and never had, so it tells me that yes, it's normal and I'm not even on the extreme end. 

Now I finally feel ready to just get this over with.  I'm no longer dreading it.  I feel like I'm running up the hill and I want to get to the top and start my way down to recovery and feeling better.  So much dreading, so much worry and anxiety, so much waiting, ugh!  Just get it over with already.  Tick-tock-tick-tock.

Once I'm there though, I know I will be scared out of my mind and want to run the hell out of there!


susie said...

Hopefully they'll give some sort of super calming drug as soon as you get there. Good luck.

Susan Nguyen said...

Hope all is well with your surgery.


KansasSunflower said...

Susie - good call. Yes, they did. : ) Not nearly quick enough, but they did. : )

KansasSunflower said...

Thanks, Susan!

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