After I said I would do it, I realized...I have no idea what "my story" is! Yes, obviously, it is a story about my journey of being mentally ill - being bipolar, I mean, I guess? Everyone is so different, does anyone have the exact same symptoms and levels of the disease? I don't know or have heard of anyone just like me. Honestly, I have no idea why anyone even reads my blog! What do I say that is at all interesting? I don't think many actually read it anyway. If I thought they did, I don't think I would write a lot of the things I write, it would be too intimidating. From what I can tell, people search for things I've written about my experiences with certain medications and I totally understand that, I've done the same.
But...writing about "my story" will require me to think about things and details that are very painful and I really don't want to think about them, and especially attempt to articulate them enough that someone could understand what I am expressing. Maybe for some people it is a positive experience. I don't know, I just don't know. Do I trust myself to go back to those places mentally and not fall apart? No, I probably will fall apart, but if/when I do, can I easily pick myself up again?
Yes, I plan to do it, but it's one of those things that you know you need to do but keep putting it off. I am not trying to be an advocate for anything, that was never and is not my intention, but the times when I feel that I'm not so alone with this disease...those are very precious moments, and if I could give that gift to someone, whether I knew about it or not, of course I would want to do that.