I'm Just a Little Unwell, But Doing Great!

I'm feeling SO much better!  And to think, just a few days ago I was looking up lethal dosages of all of my medications, crazy!  I'm not 100% - yesterday I couldn't find the word "reputation", I'm still having memory issues.  I'm still a bit emotional, but overall, a huge, huge improvement.

The changes I've made was getting back on Lamictal after running out, my psychiatrist increasing the dosage of Lamictal as well as Latuda, I've stopped drinking, not that I drank much anyway, but in no way do I want any form of depressant to enter my body, and today, for the first time in a few months, I ran!  It felt SO NICE to be outside, in the sunshine, running...for about the first 20 minutes.  I don't know what happened after that.  Maybe it may have been the heat or just not running for awhile but I felt a little dizzy and didn't want to push it so I walked the rest of the way.  Normally I would never, ever quit, I would push myself no matter what, but I'm through with putting so much pressure on myself!

I walked in the door and Mark came to meet me to ask how my run went, I told him I failed, and he started examining me for scratches or evidence that I had fallen.  I told him NO, I DID NOT FALL!  I AM FINE! 

We went to the Goo Goo Dolls/Matchbox Twenty concert at the Ravinia for the 4th of July and had a great time!  The funny thing is - when you're not drinking, you realize how stupid people look, act, and sound all around you that are, which is practically everyone.  Something great is that while they might not feel so good today, I feel great and probably had just as good of a time as they did. 

The night was not uneventful however!  I scored a signed copy of the setlist of the Goo Goo Dolls for that night, I ended up in first aid because I was bleeding at one point, and I summoned security to make a man get his child off his shoulders so the people next to me could see the band on stage.  I mean seriously, you are going to sit in the first 10 rows, you're over 6 feet tall, and put your child on your shoulders so no one behind you can see?  I personally think it's even rude to wear a hat when you sit that close.  And people in the Midwest, I'm telling you, they are too nice sometimes.  I asked the girl next to me "Can you even see?" and she no, but that's alright, and she seemed to be one of Matchbox Twenty's biggest fans!  On top of that, the seats were awesome and not cheap!!  I had absolutely *zero* problem going up to security and asking him to tell that man to remove his child from his shoulders.  On my way back to my seat, people were high-fiving me.  It wasn't that difficult, people!

Mark has *never* liked concerts, but he totally freaked at this one.  I think he may FINALLY get why people go to concerts, he just simply had never been to see someone who was one of his favorite artists, which Rob Thomas definitely is.  He knows every word to all of his songs, I mean EVERY WORD.  He knew most of the Goo Goo Dolls songs too, which surprised me as well.  He was singing really loud, too, I was thinking "Oh my gosh!".  At one point, he was taking pictures of Rob Thomas, and some people are strange, they go to concerts, get these great seats close to the stage, and then just sit through the whole concert like a bump on a log.  Why not save money, stay at home and just listen to the CD's?  So he's taking the pictures, he's hot and sweaty and it's dripping, the guy in front of him is balding, and I see some sweat from Mark's arm as he's holding up his phone to take a picture drip onto this guy's bald head.  It was funny and horrifying at the same time.  Mostly horrifying.  I saw the guy put his hand up to wipe it away from the top of his head once, but I wasn't going to tell Mark to stop having fun.  Why would I ruin his experience?  This was his FAVORITE BAND.  And...the first time I have EVER seen him enjoy a concert.

Matchbox Twenty has a song called Unwell.  The fans seemed to know every word by heart.  It's so strange to me, I wanted to ask people, "You can relate to this song?  How?"  I know Mark loves it as well.  I think most people feel a little crazy and not normal sometimes.  It's *so* how I feel right now.  If I could try to explain to someone how I am feeling right now, this is it exactly.


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