I totally blew off my therapist and psychiatrist visits AGAIN last week. I haven't rescheduled with either yet. I say "blew off", I called to cancel with my therapist an hour before the session, but I was a no show for my psychiatrist. They called about an hour after my appointment time to ask if I was okay and to reschedule. Of course, I let it go to voicemail as I do just about every call.
This week, I am getting better. I have more energy and am more motivated to get things done. I had to cut back on my Pristiq to make the samples last until I can go in and get some more before I get a prescription and that is SO FRUSTRATING! The whole medication thing right now is really frustrating me! How freaking hard is it to just get a prescription? All of my other doctors don't seem to have a problem getting prescriptions to me, what is the deal?? Sure, she said she faxed in a prescription for Pristiq, but they have no record of it. The increase in Latuda has been a nightmare. I think it's because on my previous dosage it was over $1500 every three months, so with the increase it would be around $2100 every three months. My husband told me the insurance company doesn't actually pay that much, it is negotiated way down but they are showing me the retail price online. He would know, but I'm always skeptical of everything. The pharmacy rejected my increase (I didn't know they could do that?), sent me three, THREE letters that they would not fill it, I got a letter from the insurance company that it was approved after my doctor did some kind of "QE request" and sent in some kind of documentation that I needed it. So I called the pharmacy and ordered it again and they said they would send it to me. THEN I got a letter from the pharmacy that it was on hold by the pharmacist. THEN I got the medication in the mail of a refill of my OLD dosage. Oh my gosh, it is driving me insane. I want to throw all the medications away and stop being chained to a psychiatrist for my sanity! Just be me, happy, depressed, whatever, just not freaking out over prescriptions. I never had this problem before. But I don't want to get suicidal and end up in the psych ward again so what other choice do I have? I'm doomed to live in stress over this forever.
So I'm taking my old dosage of Latuda and 1/4 of my dosage of Prestiq. No, I don't feel as positive as I did on 100 mg of Prestiq, but I may just taper off of it until I can get a prescription. That crap makes you really sick within 24 hours of missing a dosage! That is so very stressful to me, to feel sick or knowing I will get sick - very dizzy and start vomiting - if I miss a dose.
The last couple of days I haven't been sleeping *as* much and have gotten a lot done. I actually felt like going to the grocery store, started the laundry bright and early and had it all folded the next day. Took the time to figure out WHY our new dryer hasn't been drying like it should after not working as well for weeks and not doing anything about it. Called the stupid school that says I owe them $3k and have begun the process of figuring it all out. Started the process of enrolling in school for October but haven't signed any paper work yet. I've been walking my dog every night for 30 minutes. Of course he is in heaven over that part. : )
My biggest passion right now is running. For the first time I'm not running to burn calories or lose weight, although I would never have started if it wasn't a great way to burn calories. I am just absolutely obsessed with improving my overall time. If I didn't see such dramatic results, I wouldn't be nearly as motivated or put up with some of the incredibly grueling runs that my program dishes out. But they give me major improvements, just from one week to another! I have a 5k race on Sunday, we'll see how that goes. I only signed up for a 5k to gauge my improvement, but my real goal is a 10k under 60 minutes in November. My program finishes the beginning of November and I plan to race around Thanksgiving, so I still have plenty of time! This week I have a 7 mile run, ugh. One endurance run a week, one easy run a week, and two interval runs a week. The interval run yesterday kicked my ass.
I still can't get over sleeping for at least a few hours every day during the day. I sleep the same amount at night and am now sleeping less during the day, but I still get tired. It's not as bad though, I don't feel like I can't keep my eyes open anymore. I've done a lot of things to try and help though. It's always the worst after a run so I've started making recovery smoothies when I get home. They are actually really tasty! One cup of light soy milk, a scoop of chocolate protein powder, a banana, about a tablespoon of flax seed (I can't remember what it does for you now, just supposed to be really good for you), and about 5 ice cubes and blend it all. I absolutely love it! The ground flax seeds adds the only tiny bit of not great tasting to it, but now I don't even taste it. It's just yummy. : )
I bought vitamins for physically active women, but I just started those so I don't know how much they will help yet. They have a lot of B vitamins in them which give you energy, but I don't really know how much the body absorbs vitamins through a pill. But, I have done something UNhealthy. Yesterday I ordered some JACK3D to use before I run. But is that really THAT unhealthy? People drink energy drinks, drink coffee, I don't really see it as being SO bad as taking some sort of supplement before you exercise. The only thing is...I'm concentrating SO HARD on being healthy right now, making the right food choices, exercising, getting lots of sunlight, it goes against everything I've been doing.
Since my tiredness is improving, I may hold off on going to my family doctor. I don't know if it was cutting back on my medication, if I am healing from my hysterectomy and my body is adjusting to my runs and not shutting down completely, although I was way tired before then. Again, I don't know WHY I get so tired and it started after my Lamictal debacle.
I suppose a trip to the family doctor is in order, but I just had a blood test that was normal and healthy in April, absolutely everything was in the normal range. Anything could have changed since then, or maybe it's not chemical, or maybe....who knows the possibilities that I can't even think of. I'm not a doctor. : )