I'm doing pretty well emotionally, but Mark is definitely not. Maybe it's supposed to work that way.
When one significant other is down, the other is strong so they can give them the support, or at least whatever support they willing to accept.
I was thinking the other day - what was the catalyst that a therapist decided I needed to be on psychiatric medication? I started to remember it. I couldn't afford my therapist at the time, but for some reason she offered to see me for free. I was with my abusive boyfriend and knew the best thing for us to do was break up, but I was convinced I was unable to live without him nor did I want to. And I was especially afraid that I could never love someone as much as him. I sat in her office and just cried and cried, completely opening up my heart to her, and after years and years of her being my therapist, I suppose she realized it was a true crisis situation and called a psychiatrist she knew who saw me that same day. I didn't realize that meant psychiatric medication until he explained it to me and gave me two prescriptions: Effexor and Xanax. He told me how often to take the Effexor but not the Xanax, so I asked him about it. I have yet to have a psychiatrist tell me this again, but he said the real danger was not taking ENOUGH of it and I'm sure he had to write a prescription with a dosage, so I guess it was huge. I wouldn't have known then what a normal dosage of Xanax nor how often to take it would have been.
After a few more visits, he diagnosed me with "chronic depression". Then came the ups and downs (not like there wasn't already) with my ex-boyfriend. He ALSO thought he could not live without me. Very tricky situation to be in. Obviously I broke free because we are no longer together and wish he could cease to exist, that a genie could blink him away.
Many years later, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and my new therapist has finally given it a name. Bipolar II, frequent bouts of depression but rare hypomania. Yes, I would say for me, the true danger is how low I get and how quickly my thoughts turn to suicide.
I am so very curious what happened in anyone else's life that led them to take psychiatric medication and if anyone was diagnosed properly the first time they saw a psychiatrist.
I know I'm asking a lot, but if anyone would share their journey into the medication world, I would love to hear it. Sometimes I still wonder if Bipolar II is the correct diagnosis. Perhaps it still should be chronic depression but I can't ignore the fact that my hypomania isn't rational. As my family doctor once told me about a different illness I have, there is no blood test to prove you have what a doctor says you have. I wish there was, but I can only blindly believe what someone tells me is wrong.