I still feel pretty good. Usually this time of year I start getting pretty depressed. Holidays are usually not a good time for me and I want to just fast forward to January. This year I am actually excited about the holidays, so very different than normal. I would get sad that I don't have any close family members but I don't care this year. At least I have Mark's family. I already put the Christmas tree up and decorated it yesterday! I was going to start decorating the rest of the house then decided it was probably too early to be completely decorated for Christmas. I'm not opening the blinds to the window so my neighbors can see the tree yet either. : )
Not sure if Mark is better or not, but he is SO SENSITIVE. I can't predict how he will react to ANYTHING I say, even a compliment! Then it makes me feel like I said something wrong when that was not my intention at all! Actually no, he does not seem quite as angry as before in his "crisis" (again, he hates if I use the term mid-life). He seems to be more accepting of whatever he is going through - a realization of what his life is and what it will be I guess, I don't know, never been through it and I'm older than he is. And not even employed or even starting a new career yet! I don't dare say those things, at least not again. Anything I say that is positive when he is ranting makes him angry. I finally told him the other day when he said something and I said nothing back that it wasn't because I wasn't listening, just everything I say in response to him makes him mad, I certainly don't want to agree with what he is saying because I don't, so silence I feel is my only option. I can't say "I understand how you feel" because I don't, or "I've been there" because if I have, I don't remember it. So now I can just say nothing and be okay, or maybe it always was and he is just ranting to get it off his chest.
For some reason, I absolutely loathe leaving the house. It takes so much willpower to make myself do something outside of the house. I think I've been home for too long now, all day by myself with my dog. Pretty sure we are now co-dependent on each other. He doesn't like it at all when I leave, and I am constantly thinking about him when I am not home and wishing I could have just brought him with me. I actually do sometimes. Mark was in an accident and I took him to pick up his rental car and brought Bailey with me. I took him right in with me to their office, holding him because he only weighs 6 pounds. I think when a dog is that little, people don't say much about it. At least no one ever has to me. It always reminds me of Snoopy trying to go places and the signs that would say "No Dogs Allowed". Sometimes I sing that to him because it is funny to me for some reason!
So, flying to Texas the day after Thanksgiving and taking Bailey on the cabin with me - his first flight. Thank goodness we are going first class, but only because Mark has a TON of miles to use. I hope there is more room under the seat for him and his carrier, but we shall see. I plan on knocking him out with his anti-anxiety medication.
I'll post a picture of our Christmas tree if I can remember!