Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving and the weekend turned out, surprisingly, to be quite enjoyable! 

On Thanksgiving, I prepared the meal for Mark and I, with everything completely homemade.  I like making things that way so I know EXACTLY what I am eating.  It probably takes a little more time and needs more ingredients, but I picked fairly simple dishes aside from the turkey.

Friday we flew to Texas to spend the weekend with Mark's parents and family.  I admit, I wasn't looking forward to it but not completely dreading it, either.  The hardest part was probably my dog.  He did NOT like being in his carrier and even though I had given him anti-anxiety medication and Dramamine, he cried and cried.  Luckily he settled down once the plane took off on the way to Texas, but not on the way home.  I don't think he actually swallowed his anti-anxiety medication and I had only one left to give him.

Very, very surprisingly, my sister-in-law and I got along pretty well, talked quite a bit, I really don't understand it AT ALL.  I asked Mark who had changed - her or me?  He said maybe a little bit of both.  I told her how I was really scared to take College Algebra again - I've already tried it three times.  She's a math teacher and offered to tutor me through the class through Facetime or something.  I thought that was very, very generous of her and couldn't thank her enough.

They are building a new house that will be done in less than a month and his sister could not wait for us to see it.  She kept looking at her watch to see when she would have time to take us through the house.  I really liked it!  It's a very pretty house, plenty of bedrooms for all of her kids, and they made some nice design choices.  My favorite part of the house was the winding staircase.  I could go through a list of what I did NOT like about it, which isn't too much, and  how I was saying I thought things were so nice when I actually thought it reminded me of our first house we bought (like they chose the exact same granite in the kitchen that we had in our first house?), but of course I couldn't and didn't want to say those things.  She was WAY too excited for us to see it for some reason.  Maybe that is why she was nicer - she is in a better place because of her house?  Is that why she has hated us for so long - because she was jealous of us materialistically like I thought all along?   But...that is probably not fair.  If you can't show something of yours that you love and are excited about to your family, then who? I knew absolutely ZERO about it until we got there, so she is absolutely not talking to it about many people, like on Facebook, so I'm probably terribly wrong.  I am  truly so very, very happy for their family.  It's nice to come home to a home you love and have pride in where you live. : ) 

I fell in love with her twins!  They have grown so much and were so enamored with me!  They both wanted to be with me all the time, took turns being my partner in a game we all played, and just kept looking at me in awe, holding my hands, trying to agree on who got to sit next to me and when to take turns.  They are such sweet, sweet girls - I totally fell in love with them.  Who couldn't love such sweet, adoring attention from two cute, sweet girls?  I must admit, his sister knows how to raise her children to be very good and sweet.

I had my spending issue last month, had been totally honest with Mark up front, and yesterday he was trying to reconcile one of my credit cards bills with the entries I had made in our budget.  It was way off, of course, but I had tried my best although I'm sure I may have just given up at some point, I don't remember.  After not being mad at all about it all this time, NOW he's pretty mad.  I guess I knew all along that eventually he would react in an angry way and I have to admit, I do deserve it.  Perhaps he even felt that my knowing he was angry was helping to ensure it didn't happen again and alleviate the massive anxiety I think he was feeling.  But...it couldn't stop me from feeling that if I lived on my own, made my own money and was responsible for myself, I wouldn't have to hear all that stuff about how HE works and after what I had done, how is that is supposed to make HIM feel about what does he even work for?  He even said if it continued it would make him very bitter and eventually it would end our marriage.  I just stared at him as he was talking.  I've apologized a million times so I don't know what else I could possibly do, I can't take it back but he has a right to his feelings.  So I just went to bed without saying much and woke up not too happy with him but put on a fake smile and happy tone in my voice.  Totally not mad that he got angry, but did he really have to say it would end our marriage?  I think that crossed the line since I've apologized so many times and it completely stopped.  It IS my fault and he HAS been incredibly gracious up until last night.  I suppose if that is the worst I get from it, that's not so bad.  Money really does end many marriages unfortunately.  I just wish I wasn't so dependent on him!!  Ugh!

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!



6 comments:

susie said...

Maybe families are best in small doses? ;-)

KansasSunflower said...

Good point! And perhaps they (his sister really) knew I was there because I wanted to be? Maybe I usually sulk. I know I felt uncomfortable around her before, but I didn't this time. So like you said - she (they)know we won't be forced from obligation to be there because it will probably be once, perhaps twice a year. : )

susie said...

Everything okay on the other side of the lake? You've been quiet.

Maggie Danhakl said...

I hope all is well with you! Healthline is launching a new campaign for bipolar disorder and as one of our “Best Bipolar Blogs” I wanted to see if you’d be interesting in helping out- all you have to do is share your story! (which you a great job of on your blog)

This month, we are launching a video campaign called "You've Got This" that gives hope to those recently diagnosed with the mental disorder.

We ran a similar campaign last year for HIV and received numerous videos for the campaign. You can see some examples here: http://www.healthline.com/health/hiv-aids/youve-got-this-video

The idea is that you make a 1-3 minute video about your journey with bipolar disorder and say: "You've Got This" to those who were just diagnosed.

We will also be donating $10 for every submitted video to a non-profit support mental disorders.

I strongly hope you consider sharing your story and helping others. Would you be interested in partaking?

Thank you,
Maggie

____________
Maggie Danhakl • Assistant Marketing Manager
p: 415-281-3124 f: 415-281-3199
Healthline • The Power of Intelligent Health
660 Third Street, San Francisco, CA 94107

Lynn said...

Where did you go? Are you ok?

lles86 said...
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