Even after only four days of taking Trazadone, I can't help but think that I am in the throes of withdrawal.  It seems crazy that I would be after only four days of 150mg, which I think may be a lot just for sleep.  It is amazing to me that people function at 300mg for depression.  I am sleeping during the day, which actually isn't a bad thing.  I was so anxious before that I couldn't take a nap. My body was to tired, yet it was impossible.  I would look forward to taking Trazadone as early as possible to escape the tiredness I felt. 

One time yesterday, I felt full on panic that I am not doing anything to move me forward into a career.  Serious, serious panic.  I realized then that Trazadone also is prescribed for anxiety, but my body no longer has it.  So it is like going from 100 to 0. 

This is my fourth day of taking 3 laxatives, so 12 altogether.  Not having a lot of luck, but I think that progress at all yesterday compared to none before is progress and proof that I wasn't going crazy over my stomach being so, so bloated.  I still don't think I would be able to button any pants, so I don't want to wear any jeans or anything binding on my waist.  The pain is still there, just not as bad.  At least not right at this second.  It could come back at any time.

Trazadone is simply NOT a drug my body can tolerate, and it's definitely not the first one either, but I hope to God it is the last.

Poor little Bailey.  I worry over my puppy/dog so much because of his bulging disk.  He won't take his pills in any kind of food, so I have resorted to prying open his lockjawed mouth and shoving it down his throat as far as I can.  It is such a battle!  But it is a much shorter time than trying everything I think he will eat in the house only to discover he sniffed it out and has not eaten it. 

Mark is in the deep throes of his OCD, but he refuses to take any type of medication, and right now, I totally get that.  He also discovered he has high cholesterol, but it is only border line from what I can tell.  He goes to the doctor in a week, which in my opinion is too long. He has already refused to change his diet, so I told him to be completely honest with the doctor so he can be treated.  He shouldn't just agree not to eat cheeseburgers or pizza when he will without a care in the world  I totally believe his problem could be resolved with diet, but he is unwilling to try.

My next therapy appointment is in person.  She asked if I was ready, and I said yes.  Am I?  I don't know.  I don't get dressed up for anything these days unless it is some kind of event.  But I have no worries or hesitation about trying it for a change - why not?  She's my therapist and surely can understand that.  Just leaving the house for an appointment is a success, like when I went to my psychiatrist.  That was a bit of a panic though - running out of medication even though she called in a 14 day supply that insurance will pay for under "emergency situations".  She really is awesome, except she prescribed me TRAZADONE!  Grrr. But she could not have possibly known what it would do.  Some people love it, and some people think it's a drug from the depths of hell.  Obviously I am the latter.

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