Self Employed But On a Performance Plan

For the past several weeks, I have had *so* much anxiety that it has been extremely hard for me to work.  As a result, I have maybe 20 wreaths that are late to be shipped.  Very late.

I received an email about a week ago outlining the certain things about my shop that were going poorly and needed to change or I would be suspended.  I was unsure what "suspended" meant and looked it up on the internet - what it meant for this ecommerce site.  "Suspended" means they close your shop permanently (apparently) - not sure.  Maybe it depends on the reason.

I did not even see nor read that message.  OMG.  I got another message yesterday, a week later, after being given a date to respond by that I had missed.  In the first message, it had said if I did not respond by the date (that I missed), my shop faced possible suspension.

The second message said that my shop and listings were no long searchable on the ecommerce site, and that was to give me time to complete my late orders, and that people had found it helpful when they were behind.  What if I am actually "suspended"?  She did say that she saw I had been proactive and put my shop on vacation so that I would not receive more orders.

I now have been given two more weeks (November 9).  This is the email I received yesterday, much less upset than the first one:


This is XXX from XXXXX again. As you know, your shop has been removed from XXXXX search results since October 19 so that you could focus your attention on resolving your cases and overdue orders. Looking at your account again today, I see that you've taken the additional precaution of setting your shop on Vacation Mode while you work to get caught up.

While I see that your shop doesn't have any open cases, it appears that you still have a number of open orders that are past their ships-by date so I'm checking in to see how things are going, and if there's anything else that we can do to help.

We kindly ask that you respond to this email with an update before November 9. If we don't hear back from you before this date, we may find it necessary to suspend your account.

I look forward to hearing back from you soon.

The first message is just so long, I am not including it and also, there are company private policies in it I believe.

I need to concentrate on no stress, less stress, etc.  If something happens, I do have another avenue where I can sell.  That is not what I want, and I have a new plan of selling my wreaths.  I absolutely can not keep up with making them as fast as they sell.  If I sold as many as I could, as many as people would buy at certain times of the year, I would need to hire a full time staff.

Oh sure, what a great problem to have, right?  Not that I am not grateful, but I thought this would be a perfect business for someone who DOES have mood disorders, who KNOWS I do need mental health days.

I have plans, if I can get past this, to make it more relaxing and even - dare I say? - enjoyable.

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