The thing is, I've hated this job for a long time now. And I've been a contractor, with no feedback, no work friends, for a year, working from home while almost everyone else lives in other cities. It really doesn't matter if they do live here, I don't go into the office anyway, and neither do most of them.
My kind-of-manager told me that I could use her as a reference, that they were trying to shift resources around (there are less jobs for recruiters), and that is true. My own workload has changed dramatically. And my contract was up, Mark convinced me. It was time to renew for another 6 months.
The thing is, I know that I didn't pour my heart into this job. I didn't even like it. I didn't want to do it, but they paid me a lot of money and I'm lazy and got to stay home.
Now I have to go out and buy an entire new wardrobe (not get crazy, I don't know where I'll be working, IF I can find a job), get my hair done, buy contacts, make a "whole new me" that's presentable. I can't take off this size 12 weight, that's the crappy part and what most concerns me. And I can't make myself younger than my 40 years old.
I've already updated my resume, and it's on Monster. I've applied for all the decent positions I could find (3 or 4?), but I guess I need to put it on a few more boards, too.
But what would happen if I landed an interview in a few days? I'm not prepared! No clothes, no hair, no contacts, no....confidence. I'm not ready. I hardly have enough sweats to wear through the week. I just bought a pair of jeans, so I have ONE pair of jeans - ONE! I can't believe I've gained so much weight.
The interesting part is that my old co-worker sent me an email this morning, before I found out I was being let go, saying that I should come back to my last place of employment. Very strange timing. But I do miss working with her and my other friend...is that a good enough reason to go back somewhere?
I need to find a job fast so my resume doesn't have a gap in it (and for the obvious, financial reasons), but can I pull myself together, emotionally and physically, fast enough to land one? On the financial front, we'll be okay, but...what a waste of space I've become. I think I've been a waste of space for some time now.