I realized that really my bipolar symptoms have been in check for so long now, I don't consider it as effecting me at all anymore. I get anxious from time to time, but that's about it. I was listening to the Message (Christian satellite radio) the other day, and a lady was talking about how a song was special to her because of her bipolar disorder. I don't have that desperation right now, and haven't in a long time. I've been going to school for a year and a half and have had only anxiety issues once in awhile during this time, and before that, I think I was depressed, but it was because I wasn't doing anything. I remember how awful it felt, how desperate I got, but it seems so far away and distant. I'm scared that I'll go back there again one day soon, I'm almost positive that I will be back there again in the future one day for whatever reason, I don't think anyone is ever cured 100% for good for the rest of their lives (are they?), but for now I'm pretty ok! I feel like I should knock on wood. I read blogs where people are so sad and upset that are bipolar, but rarely do I read a blog where someone has been stable for awhile. Maybe people stop blogging once they're ok? I can't believe that people with bipolar disorder never become stable long term. I know there are bipolars out there who lead happy successful lives with their disorder effecting them minimally under the proper medication. There has to be! Maybe going to school and not working just isn't stressful enough to trigger bipolar symptoms in me, yet school can be very stressful. Failing tests week after week is very stressful and you must keep yourself from getting depressed.
Mark has been very unhappy lately, I think because of work, but he's taking PTO for the next week, so hopefully that will help. He's under a tremendous amount of stress at work, I couldn't do it, for sure it would trigger the bipolar symptoms in me, I don't think the medication I take is enough or strong enough that it would stop it. He wants to leave, but feels he's trapped in the "golden handcuffs", and honestly, he is. He travels so much, but we can't move to where he goes, because it's more expensive to live there, his company won't pay for it, and my school is here, although they would allow me to go online if I wanted to. I don't want to though. I think maybe once I graduate I would like to move there - we wouldn't notice the rise in the cost of living if I started working as much, and it would be nice to live back in the Midwest, I miss Midwest people : )
That's about it - hope everyone has a great Memorial Day weekend!